Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Some people argue that the prime use of being wealthy is having the capacity and ability to assist those in need. While philanthrophy is undoubtedly one of the noble use of money, I partially agree with the statement. The advantages of being affluent are not limited and can not be restricted to this sole purpose.

A school of thought says that having surplus wealth brings people the opportunity to help the deserving community. Substantial wealth grants individuals a unique leverage to bring a large level social change as rich people can offer much larger donations to NGOs or social welfares. These organizations work for the betterment of society, for the education of underprivileged kids or supporting causes for the change in a specific community. For example, Bill Gates has funded over millions of health campaigns worldwide which have proven to work in the favor of healthcare of poor people.

Although, being rich gives a person an edge to offer his wealth for humanitarian causes, but viewing wealth solely through the lens of charity is undermining its other benefits. For instance, money gives you financial independence along with the stability of mind. People can secure their kids future by spending on their quality education. People tend to buy their time by hiring employees for routine based tasks. Although people find a sense of comfort in helping others but they do need a time off work to vacation spots with their families to enjoy life to its fullest.

Conclusively, being affluent ables an individual to get involved in profound humanitarian cause, the benefits of it can not be restricted to this only. Personal freedom, peace of mind and many others are as vital to overall value of wealth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you partially agree that helping others is important, but wealth has other valuable uses. You address both sides and support the charitable role of wealth with the example of Bill Gates funding health campaigns. You also explain personal benefits, including financial independence, children’s education, and time for family activities. This meets the task well, with relevant ideas that are extended and supported. To strengthen the response further, develop the comparison between these benefits and explain more explicitly why charity is not necessarily the most important use of wealth. Some points, such as “peace of mind,” are asserted rather than fully explained, and the conclusion could restate your reasoning more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, the body paragraphs present charitable and personal benefits, and the conclusion returns to your main view. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “Although,” and “For instance” help guide the reader. The paragraphing is appropriate and the central contrast is easy to follow. At times, however, connections are slightly awkward or repetitive: “Although” begins both the second and third body sections, and the sentence beginning “Although, being rich…” combines a concession with “but,” making the relationship less smooth. Use a wider range of transitions and make links between examples and your main argument more explicit to achieve more consistently flexible cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a reasonably broad range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “surplus wealth,” “financial independence,” “underprivileged,” and “humanitarian causes.” These choices show an effort to use less common language, and your meaning remains clear. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however, such as “a large level social change,” “social welfares,” and “buy their time.” There are also word-form and spelling slips, including “philanthrophy” and “ables.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim to learn vocabulary in common combinations—for example, “bring about significant social change” and “charitable organisations”—and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “as,” “although,” and “which,” and several sentences communicate your ideas clearly. Some grammatical errors remain, though they rarely obstruct the message. For example, “Although, being rich gives a person an edge …, but…” uses two competing structures; use either “Although being rich gives…, viewing…” or “Being rich gives…, but viewing…”. Other issues include “the noble use” instead of a plural form, “kids future” without a possessive apostrophe, and “the benefits of it can not be restricted” where the reference and sentence structure are awkward. Review articles, possessives, agreement, and complex-sentence punctuation. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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