Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that one of the prominent benefits of being rich is that they can think of others. I firmly agree with this statement that rich people play a vitual role in upbring the socieites because of mainly two main reasons: firstly, they are capable of doing varous charity events. Another, they can create job opportunities for people.

To begin with, rich people often help privileged people by carrying out various charity works such as donating to NGOs and orphanages. in addition, they can also help needy people such as poor families by providing food, medical assistance, education and shelther. Since they have immense money they can allocate a certain amount of their income to help people who are in need. Therefore, there are so many wealthy people who are contributing to enhance the living standard of the people. For example, Ratan Tata, the director of Tata Group donates 99% of his total revenue to well-bring of deprived people, he also operates two NGOs.

Moreover, people who are living on welfare can also have the ability to run any kind of business. As a result, by establishing a company they can boost the income of those people who wanted a job and consequnetly, it will help them to improve their overall lifestyles. As a result, they can share their own experiences and help youngsters, which can motivate them to work harder and achieve their professional goals and the same level of sucess.

In conclusion, having sufficient amount of money can give peope the confidence to work for others. Although, it is not an necessary thing to have money in order to help people. Anyone willing to help others can help without regardless of financial status.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that wealth matters because it enables charity and job creation. Both reasons are relevant, and the examples of donations and business ownership support your response. The conclusion also adds a useful qualification that people can help regardless of their financial status. However, the two main ideas are not developed equally: the charity paragraph gives several forms of assistance and an example, while the employment paragraph makes broad claims without a specific illustration or much explanation of how jobs improve people’s lives. The claim about donating “99% of his total revenue” would also benefit from a reliable, precise example. More balanced development and support would make the argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with” and “Moreover” help readers follow the argument, and the central position remains consistent. Some linking is mechanical or repetitive, however: “As a result” appears twice close together, and the opening list of reasons is awkwardly signposted with “firstly” and “Another.” The charity paragraph also shifts between examples and explanation without always making the relationship explicit. Improve progression by using transitions that show the precise connection between ideas, and make references such as “they” unmistakably refer to wealthy people or business owners.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “charity,” “medical assistance,” “job opportunities,” and “professional goals,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “vitual,” “varous,” “shelther,” “consequnetly,” and “sucess” appear, while “help privileged people” seems to mean helping disadvantaged people. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “upbring the societies,” “charity events,” and “well-bring of deprived people.” Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; a smaller set of well-controlled expressions will communicate your ideas more effectively than ambitious but imprecise phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “Since they have immense money” and a result clause beginning “which can motivate them.” These attempts help explain relationships between ideas, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries. For example, “Although, it is not an necessary thing” has an unnecessary comma and incorrect article, while “Ratan Tata … donates …, he also operates” joins two independent clauses with only a comma. The opening sentence also shifts from “one” to “they.” Review article use, pronoun consistency, and punctuation between complete clauses, while continuing to practise varied sentence structures.

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