Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, the most important thing is that being rich is the one way that has opportunity to help others and this is a very important issue in our society. Some people believe that this is a good idea while others think this not good idea. I completely agree with this statement and give my reason below.

The first reason why i support this idea was that if someone is rich it will have many opportuninities to do good will like they can help the needy people in many ways. For example, In Pakistan, many people have seen positive changes because of this idea in thier daily lives. This shows that how beneficial this idea was for the people in society. Therefore, most people now accept and support this idea.

The another important reason why i support this idea was that rich people have another opportunity they can help people in providing shelter and gives food in many other ways. For instance, Students and working people have also benefited from this in many ways. This proves how much positive effect this have in the lives of ordinary people in society. As a result, more and more people now start favour this idea everyday.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that this idea is a positive development for society. The two main reasons are this is helpful

in indiviuals and also support the community as a whole. I hope that people will take advantage of this oppourtunity in their daily lives and do positive use of it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: “I completely agree,” and the essay gives two relevant reasons—helping people in need and providing shelter and food. These points address the topic, but they remain broad and are not developed with specific explanation. The Pakistan example says people have seen “positive changes” without identifying a change or showing how wealth enabled it; the second example about students and working people is similarly vague. The introduction also shifts to whether the idea is “good” rather than directly explaining why helping others is the most important benefit of being rich. To strengthen the response, explain the importance of this opportunity and support each reason with a concrete, clearly connected example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “The first reason,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the basic organisation. However, progression within the body paragraphs is limited: examples are introduced but not clearly explained or linked to the claims, and several sentences repeat the idea that the view is beneficial. Phrases such as “This shows” and “This proves” do not clarify what the preceding example demonstrates. Some connections are also awkward, including “The another important reason.” Improve cohesion by making each paragraph develop one distinct point, using clear references to the evidence, and avoiding repeated summary statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “the needy people,” “providing shelter,” and “ordinary people,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, particularly repeated uses of “idea,” “positive,” and “in many ways.” Some word combinations are unnatural, such as “do good will,” “start favour this idea,” and “do positive use of it.” Spelling errors—including “opportuninities,” “thier,” “indiviuals,” and “oppourtunity”—also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise language about charitable support and its effects, and check spelling and collocations carefully. This would make your meaning clearer and less repetitive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “if someone is rich it will have many opportuninities…” and “This shows that how beneficial this idea was…”. However, the longer constructions are often faulty, and the range of sentence patterns remains limited. Errors include “this not good idea” (missing verb), “The another important reason,” and “rich people have another opportunity they can help people” (an unclear sentence connection). Verb forms and agreement are also inconsistent, as in “this have” and “more and more people now start.” Capitalisation and punctuation are uneven, including lowercase “i” and comma splices. Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses and check verb agreement and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.