Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is a universal thing that some people becomes greedy and selfish after getting fame in their lives. However, some say that the crucial thing about being rich is that they have the opportunity to assist others. I completely see eye to eye with this statement.

The first and foremost thing is that after donating among the under-privileged, they find solace and peace of mind. Due to the fact that they get the chance to mitigat the severities of drowntrodden persons. The rich persons also overcome from their own hardships of life and they better understand the pain of individuals. They temptingly help them due to their empthetic nature.

The most beneficial benefit is that they keep in touch with the God. Because God like those persons who understand and feel the pain of others. They also blessed more from the God. After assisting others, they find level-headed experience. Their faces become glowing and shinning. They get rid from the shadow of devil. Their relationship with the Allah Almighty becomes robust. They enjoy a euphoric lifestyle. They don't face sorrows in life.

For instance, our Prophet used to spend much of their allowance among the helpful people. We should seek guidance from our Holy Prophet.

Likewise, the most wealthy person of the world Elon Musk donate the useful things among the needy people. It is a opportunity for us that Allah bless us to help their human being. It is also a sign of dignity.

I firmly believe that we should not lose the chance to help others. Because God select only the special persons to do the good deeds in the form of human being. It forms us a tranquilisers for the crestfallen people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: “I completely see eye to eye with this statement,” and the response stays focused on helping people in need. You offer several relevant reasons, including the giver’s peace of mind, religious values, and examples involving the Prophet and Elon Musk. However, the discussion is only partially developed. Claims such as donors “don’t face sorrows in life” and that God selects “special persons” are asserted rather than explained, and the examples do not show clearly how wealth creates an opportunity to help. Develop one or two reasons with specific, realistic explanation and support, and make the link to the question’s idea of what is most important more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, supporting paragraphs, examples, and a concluding statement. Sequencing phrases such as “The first and foremost thing,” “For instance,” and “Likewise” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression between ideas is not consistently clear. The paragraph beginning “The most beneficial benefit” moves from religious approval to appearance, relationships, and happiness without showing how these points connect. Several sentences beginning with “Because” are fragments, and repeated transitions make the organisation feel mechanical. Group related points into focused paragraphs, use pronouns with clear references, and explain the connection between each reason and your main position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related and less common vocabulary, including “under-privileged,” “mitigate,” “solace,” “euphoric,” and “dignity.” This shows an effort to express ideas beyond basic vocabulary. However, the range is limited by frequent inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling, which sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “mitigat the severities of drowntrodden persons” is not a natural way to describe reducing hardship, while “a tranquilisers for the crestfallen people” does not convey your intended meaning clearly. Some expressions, such as “most beneficial benefit,” are repetitive. Prioritise accurate, natural phrases and check spelling before using ambitious vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both short statements and attempts at longer structures, including clauses introduced by “after” and “because.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “Due to the fact that they get the chance…” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence, as is “Because God like those persons…”. There are also frequent errors in agreement and verb forms, such as “some people becomes,” “Elon Musk donate,” and “They also blessed.” Articles and sentence construction are also inconsistent. These errors can make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Practise complete sentences, subject–verb agreement, and accurate verb forms, then combine ideas using controlled subordinate clauses.

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