Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

According to some people, having an opportunity to support others is the most influnecial thing about being rich. I strongly agree to this statement, because a rich person can be a part of someone's success story, and it provides inner peace.

A rich person must have gone through some difficult phases, and there must be dreams that were not fullfilled due to his journey. For example, one of my friends wants to be a football player, but he could not even afford a pair of boots. However, now he is a successful entrepreneur, and helped many children to fullfill their dream by building a sports academy. Last week, his two students left the country to take part in the greatest sports event, that used to be his dream. This explain how a richness can help one to be part of a success story.

I believe a rich person can attain inner peace by helping others, supporting people around you is one of the best feelings in the world. Imagine spending your half of the income feeding the poor people, that feeling motivates you to earn much more and start thinking in a way to remove poverty from this world. In addition, this builds a stressless envirnoment for him, and he focuses on good deeds rather than bad ones to find mental peace.

In conclusion, a rich person having the opportunity to help others is a vital thing, as it improved the overall society, and individually the person can live a peaceful life ahead.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you strongly agree that helping others is the most important opportunity associated with wealth. Both main reasons are relevant and supported. The sports-academy example gives a concrete account of how wealth can help others achieve a former dream, while the second body paragraph explains the personal satisfaction and motivation that giving may bring. The conclusion also returns to the social and individual benefits. This is a well-focused response with ideas extended through examples. To strengthen it further, explain more explicitly why helping others is more important than other benefits of being rich, and develop the claim about reducing poverty beyond the hypothetical example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: it introduces your view, develops two supporting reasons in separate paragraphs, and ends with a conclusion. The example about the sports academy is placed logically after the first reason, and transitions such as “For example,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. Some links are less smooth, however. The shift from the friend’s past dream to the students’ achievement could be made more explicit, and the sentence beginning “Imagine spending…” runs into the next idea without a clear boundary. Use referencing and sentence connections more precisely, rather than relying mainly on familiar signposts, to make the progression consistently fluent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range to discuss wealth, giving, and personal fulfilment, including phrases such as “success story,” “sports academy,” “feeding the poor,” and “mental peace.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision: “the most influential thing about being rich” is not quite the intended meaning, “a richness” is unnatural, and “stressless environment” is not idiomatic. There are also spelling errors, including “influnecial,” “fullfilled,” and “envirnoment.” Choose more natural expressions and proofread spelling; for example, use “most important benefit,” “wealth,” and “stress-free environment.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “that,” and “by,” and the overall meaning remains clear. Some sentences are controlled, such as “I strongly agree to this statement, because a rich person can be a part of someone's success story, and it provides inner peace.” However, some grammatical errors appear in longer constructions. In “Last week, his two students left the country to take part in the greatest sports event, that used to be his dream,” the relative clause is awkwardly attached; “This explain” also has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence beginning “Imagine spending…” is a fragment, and “a rich person having the opportunity…” is an awkward construction. Review agreement, clause boundaries, and sentence completeness.

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