Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the modern world, some people argue that the rich people have significant opportunities to help other people. Being rich enable a person to come forward and provide basic facilities for deserving persons. I firmly believe that this could bring changes in our society and turns the world into peaceful society.

First of all, Being rich enable a person to reshape a society by providing basic amenities by which compromised people get benefits and become breadwinner for the family. In India, For example, Ratan Tata a well-known billionaire opened the local car manufacturing company and it creates alot of jobs and contributes to overall economy of the country. Furthermore, they have an opportunities to establish schools, colleges and universities where deserving students secure their seats with lesser or zero fees and that way wealthier uplift the society in the true meaning of humanity.

Secondly, Rich individual has numerous ways to lend hand to deserving people to overcome their financial problems such as by providing low interest rate loan for their start-ups. Poor people shares their plans and rather than relying on the government schemes they just simply visit them and get funds by soft terms and conditions. To illustrate further, In Pakistan many small business was started by the facilitation of rich persons and these small business turned into gaint organizations and they recurited hundreds of people and enable them to make ends meet.

To conclude, In the poor countries rich people play significant role to uplift a part of society by providing support, funds and by establishing emenities. This is not only beneficial for poors but also contributes to the overall progress of the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that wealth is valuable because it enables people to help others, and the conclusion reinforces this view. Both body paragraphs support that position with relevant examples, including Ratan Tata’s company creating jobs and wealthy individuals funding small businesses. These examples extend your main ideas and show how assistance may benefit both individuals and the wider economy. The response addresses the question, but it focuses almost entirely on ways rich people can help, rather than examining whether this is the most important aspect of being rich or acknowledging other possible benefits. Some claims, such as the broad statement about rich people’s role in poor countries, would also benefit from more precise explanation. A more direct comparison with other aspects of wealth would make the argument more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present different forms of assistance, and the conclusion summarises the argument. Signposting such as “First of all,” “Furthermore,” and “To conclude” helps readers follow the structure, while examples are generally placed alongside the points they support. The organisation is logical throughout. However, some connections are mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “To illustrate further” and “For example,” and the relationship between a few claims could be made more explicit. For instance, explain more clearly how creating a company or offering loans demonstrates that helping others is the most important benefit of wealth. More varied transitions and clearer links between examples and the central argument would make the cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss social support and economic opportunity, including “basic amenities,” “overall economy,” “financial problems,” and “make ends meet.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common expressions show an attempt to write in an appropriately formal style. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “compromised people,” “lend hand,” and “soft terms and conditions.” There are also spelling errors, including “alot,” “gaint,” “recurited,” and “emenities,” which reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim for more precise expressions and check spelling carefully; for example, “disadvantaged people” and “favourable terms” would fit the intended meanings more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “by which,” “where,” and “rather than,” and the overall meaning is usually clear. Some sentences are successfully extended to explain causes and outcomes. However, grammatical errors occur in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction. For example, “Being rich enable” should be “Being rich enables,” while “Rich individual has” needs an article or plural form. In “many small business was started,” both number and verb agreement need correction. Capitalisation after commas is also inconsistent, as in “In India, For example.” These errors do not generally prevent understanding, but they limit accuracy. Review subject–verb agreement and article use, and proofread longer sentences for consistent structure.

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