Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I partially agree with the statement because having financial abundance unlocks a remarkable ability to fund hospitals, schools, and social programs that change lives. For instance, notable philanthropists often direct massive fortunes toward global health or local poverty relief, proving that money can act as a profound instrument for social good. However, reducing the value of wealth solely to altruism ignores the reality that people first pursue money for self-preservation, safety, and peace of mind. Financial independence relieves chronic stress, secures a family’s future, and allows individuals to pursue personal growth.Helping the poor people are very obeligatery because as a muslim it is our duty to help them. I agree with this because helping is another type of obligation for us. As we are muslims our Prophet also says that "Helping is your moral duty" complete yor duty as you can. When ever life give me chance to help people I alway on there to get this opportunity happly.Furthermore, helping others is a moral choice rather than an automatic obligation of the rich, and kindness does not strictly depend on a large bank account. Therefore, while philanthropy is a noble and powerful privilege of being rich, it sits alongside personal freedom and security as just one of many important facets.

At last I wants to deliver you that helping is supperior quality so need to availe it every time as have a chane you should to catch it.

If you have a chance please take it its our duty and moral.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is stated clearly at the start: you partially agree, recognising that wealth can fund hospitals and social programmes while also providing security and personal freedom. The examples of philanthropy and financial independence are relevant to the question. However, the response develops these points unevenly. The later discussion of Muslim duty and personal kindness shifts towards whether helping is morally obligatory, rather than explaining whether helping others is the most important benefit of being rich. The quotation attributed to the Prophet is also not connected clearly to your argument. To strengthen the response, keep each supporting point focused on the comparison in the prompt and explain why helping others is, or is not, more important than the other benefits you identify.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a recognisable overall direction: the opening presents a balanced position, and words such as “However,” “Furthermore,” and “Therefore” signal contrast and conclusion. The first part also moves logically from philanthropy to personal security. However, the shift into “Helping the poor people…” is abrupt, and the personal example and religious claim are not integrated with the earlier discussion. The final two sentences repeat the idea that helping is a duty, so the ending does not clearly bring together the essay’s main comparison. Paragraphing and progression would be clearer if each paragraph had one purpose—benefits of wealth, the limits of philanthropy, and a conclusion—and if references such as “it” and “this” clearly identified the idea being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response shows some useful range, including “financial abundance,” “philanthropists,” “poverty relief,” “self-preservation,” and “financial independence.” These expressions help communicate the more developed points in the opening. However, vocabulary becomes less controlled in the later section, with spelling and word-choice problems such as “obeligatery,” “supperior,” “availe,” and “happly.” Phrases including “complete yor duty” and “catch it” are also unclear or unnatural in this context. These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended meaning, despite the overall argument remaining accessible. Build accuracy by checking spelling and choosing natural collocations; for example, use “fulfil your duty” and “take the opportunity” rather than translating phrases word for word.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The opening demonstrates an ability to use both simple and more complex structures, including “because having financial abundance unlocks…” and the contrast introduced by “However.” Most of this section is understandable. In the later sentences, however, errors in sentence structure and verb forms are frequent enough to affect clarity: “When ever life give me chance” needs a correctly formed clause, while “I alway on there” is missing a verb and has unclear structure. “At last I wants to deliver you that…” also has subject–verb agreement and sentence-pattern problems. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, and some sentences run together. Practise forming complete clauses with accurate subjects and verbs, then proofread each sentence for agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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