Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argue that whather or not wealthy individuals have this opportunity to help other is very controvertial.A number of people opine that rich citizen have that much accesses to contibute their money and wealth to others or poor people.Wile,others believe that wealthy people do not have that much opportunity to help others.Howver,those who have enough money they can provide their wealth to others.I strongly agree with this statement for a bunch of plausible reasons.

There are numerous causes why the most crucial thing about being rich that one has the ability to contribute poor people.The main fact is,they have lots of money and power to spend their things to others those who are do not have that things.When people have enough money and properties ,they can do anything what they want.They can give food,cloths,hospital's bills and educational cost to the orphan and other middle class families.For instance,Now a days we see several country have faces difficulties .THey do not have proper food and cloths which is very alarning for their living.If wealty man wants to help them it would be great things for everyone.

Another reason is, They may provid job oppotunities to the poor youth .most of the rich businessmen has different types of labour market.Where they provide remuneration.For example,many young individual have good qualification but they do not have best place to provide self ,if that businesmens give them opportunity they can provide anf eran money wisely.

In conclusion,although diverse opinions persits regarding the most important thing about be a rich man is that one has the opportunity to provide help others.I reiterate my conviction,they have several way to reach their help to the people who do not have that things.Furthermore,it would be beneficial for everyone.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that an important benefit of wealth is being able to help others. You address this through direct support, such as food, clothing, medical bills and education, and through creating jobs for young people. These relevant examples show the beginnings of a developed response. However, the discussion does not fully explain why this is the most important aspect of being rich, and some claims—such as saying wealthy people can “do anything”—are broad rather than carefully supported. The opening also introduces an opposing view but does not explain or assess it. To strengthen the response, compare helping others with other possible benefits of wealth and develop each example with clearer explanation of its impact.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from direct financial help to employment opportunities is logical, and signposts such as “Another reason” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening’s contrast between people who agree and disagree is not carried through, and phrases such as “Where they provide remuneration” do not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence. Referencing is also sometimes vague, as in “those who do not have that things.” Improve cohesion by linking each example explicitly to the claim it supports, using clear pronoun references, and ensuring each paragraph develops one complete line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “contribute,” “opportunities,” “remuneration,” and “educational cost,” and you use some variety rather than relying entirely on basic words. However, the range is limited by frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choice or collocation, including “whather,” “contibute,” “alarning,” and “provide self.” Some expressions are difficult to interpret, such as “spend their things to others” and “reach their help.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause to infer your meaning. Build accuracy by checking spelling carefully and learning common combinations such as “provide financial assistance,” “create job opportunities,” and “support disadvantaged families.” Aim for precise, natural phrasing rather than adding uncommon words where the meaning is uncertain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If wealthy man wants to help them…” and a concession in the conclusion beginning “although.” This shows an effort to vary sentence patterns. However, control is inconsistent: errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction occur throughout. For example, “rich citizen have” needs agreement, while “those who are do not have” combines incompatible verb forms. The sentence beginning “The main fact is” also lacks a clear grammatical continuation, and punctuation spacing is inconsistent. These problems can make some ideas difficult to follow. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for agreement and clear structure.

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