Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Some people believe that the greatest advantage of being wealthy is the opportunity to improve the lives of others. Although I agree that wealth enables people to make a positive difference in society, I believe that financial security and personal freedom are also significant benefits.

One of the greatest benefits of wealth is the ability to support people who are struggling financially. Wealthy individuals can donate to charities, fund education programmes and help provide essential services to needy people. For example, a successfull business man could establish a scholarship program for students who are from low-income families which cannot afford the university fees. This financial support can give an opportunity to the talented students to get qualifications and better employment. Therefore, wealth can be valued not only for personal comfort but also for improving the lives of others.

However, Wealth also gives financial security and greater freedom in their lives. People with sufficient resources can afford suitable housing, healthcare and education while preparing for unexpected expenses. For instance, parents with stable income can afford to pay their children education and deal with medical emergencies without financial hardship. Financial stability can also reduce stress and anxiety, allowing them to make decisions based on their goals rather than impulsive choices driven by financial pressure. These benefits show us that wealth can improve quality of life.

In conclusion, I partly agree that helping others is one of the greatest advantages of being wealthy, as financial resources can improve lives and create opportunities. Nevertheless, wealth also provides personal security and freedom, making it valuable for both individuals and society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that wealth can help others, while arguing that security and freedom are also important. You address both sides of this view and support them with relevant examples, such as funding scholarships for students from low-income families and paying for healthcare or unexpected expenses. The explanation of how education support can lead to qualifications and better employment extends the first main idea effectively. The response therefore develops a relevant argument, although some claims remain broad—for example, the point that wealth creates “greater freedom” could be illustrated more specifically. To strengthen the response further, explain more directly why helping others is or is not the most important benefit, rather than mainly listing other advantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear, effective structure: an introduction states your position, two body paragraphs develop contrasting benefits, and the conclusion restates your qualified agreement. The progression from helping others to personal security is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “Therefore,” “However,” and “In conclusion” make the relationships between ideas clear. Paragraphs are focused, with examples placed where they support the relevant point. Some connections are a little formulaic, and “These benefits show us” refers broadly to the preceding discussion rather than identifying the specific benefits. For a more flexible and polished progression, vary the transitions and use more precise references to connect each example to the argument about what matters most.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “financial security,” “essential services,” “low-income families,” “financial hardship,” and “financial pressure.” These choices communicate the argument clearly, and phrases such as “make a positive difference” and “improve the lives of others” suit the topic. There are, however, some spelling and word-choice or collocation slips that limit precision: “successfull” should be “successful,” “business man” is better written as “businessman,” and “stable income” would be more natural as “a stable income.” “Get qualifications” is understandable but less idiomatic than “gain qualifications.” Greater consistency in accurate spelling and natural collocations, alongside a few more precise expressions, would make the vocabulary more flexible and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening (“Although I agree…”) and a relative clause describing families “which cannot afford the university fees.” Most sentences are understandable, and the examples are expressed in a clear sequence. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles and possessives: “pay their children education” should be “pay for their children’s education,” and “a successfull business man” needs the article and possessive structure checked in context. There is also a capitalization error at the start of “Wealth” after the paragraph break. These issues do not prevent understanding, but more consistent control of articles, possessives, and sentence punctuation—while retaining varied structures—would improve accuracy.

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