Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that if you are wealthy person then the foremost thing you can do is the ability to assist other people. While being rich have considerable merit, I partially agree with the statement that it is the only way to help others.

On the one hand, there are compelling reasons to support the notion that money makes it easy to help someone who are in need of your help. The primary justification of this lies in the ways money can provide opportunity to help others. This is largely attributable to the fact that nowadays everything in materialistic in this world. More specifically, every luxury around us demands money. A particular illustrative exampe of this can be observed in foods and clothing, there are a lot of people around the world who are deprived of these necessary things because they are poor. As a result, if you have ample amount of money you can help out these people.

On the other hand, an equally compelling argument can be made in favour of other ways you can help other people. I believe money is not the only wealth someone's can have in his life. This viewpoint is particularly persuasive because we can help people such as teaching them, guiding them to the right direction, treating someone for free and assisting someone emotionally. Beyond its immediate advantages, these kind of small kindness will spread peace in this choatic world. Therefore, this perspective should not be overlooked.

In conclusion, although money is crucial if you want to help needy people but there are other ways of helping others which do not require money. Ultimately a balanced approach that incorporates both ideas is likely to yield more comprehensive and sustainable outcomes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you partially agree that wealth enables people to help, while arguing that support can also take non-financial forms. Both sides are relevant, and the examples of providing food and clothing, teaching, guidance, and emotional support address the question. This meets the task well, but the development is uneven. The financial argument explains that money can meet material needs, while the second lists several forms of help without developing a particular example or explaining their impact in detail. The claim that “everything is materialistic” is also broad and needs qualification. To strengthen the response further, explain why helping others is or is not the most important benefit of being rich, rather than focusing mainly on the different ways people can help.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear four-paragraph structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression from financial assistance to non-financial support is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the organisation explicit. This is a coherent overall arrangement. At times, however, linking feels formulaic, and some references are not fully clear: “these kind of small kindness” does not clearly identify which forms of help are meant. The first body paragraph also moves from money’s general usefulness to examples of basic needs without a smooth explanation of how this supports the claim about wealth’s foremost importance. Use fewer stock transitions and connect each example directly to the point it illustrates.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including phrases such as “compelling reasons,” “ample amount of money,” “deprived,” and “sustainable outcomes.” These choices help express the contrast between financial and personal support, and the meaning is generally clear. You also attempt more formal vocabulary, but some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “everything in materialistic,” “illustrative exampe,” and “money is not the only wealth someone's can have.” Spelling slips such as “choatic” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations rather than adding formality for its own sake; for example, describe people as lacking basic necessities and refer to non-financial forms of support. Proofreading for spelling and word forms would make your vocabulary more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional phrasing (“if you have ample amount of money”) and a concessive opening in the conclusion. Most sentences remain understandable, and the errors do not generally prevent the reader from following your argument. Some grammatical problems persist, however: “if you are wealthy person” needs an article, “being rich have” has subject–verb disagreement, and “people who are deprived” should be “people who are deprived” only if the subject is plural as written; elsewhere, “someone's” is incorrectly formed in “the only wealth someone's can have.” The sentence beginning “In conclusion, although…” is also incomplete as a concessive construction. Review articles, agreement, possessives, and sentence completion, while continuing to use varied structures.

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