Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals say that begin rich has advantange that one can support other people. I completly aggree with this statment will explain with two ressons in upcoming 2 paragarphs

To commance with, a person who have more resources can help poor financially. To elaborate with, an indiviual who wants some money to upbring his child will ask for help with a rich person who have money.To examplify with, my friend name Ali belongs to well known family. An individual came to me for help but as i was student so I could not help him even i want to but Ali had more resources then me so he helped him without any resistance.Conclusio the person with more resources or money can help poors.

Futhermore, An individual who is rich can help other persons through low margin business. To explain with, In todays world business charge too much from individuals to make more profit so most of the people can not afford so many things due to high prices. If a rich person opens up a store woth very low mergins to support local middle class families it would be great. To examplify with my own example I was belongs yo middle class family. I can not afford expensive food in my childhood.Now I am a sucessfull businessman.I had opend a resturant for needy people with all luxury like big resturants with low prices so that no one else can face the same issue which i had faced in past.To conclued with that rich people can helps in lot ways

In conclusion, The rich people in all countries can have big impact on society. If the spend littel of there money to help other individuals they would have make a big difference.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you completely agree that wealth is valuable because it enables people to help others. Both body paragraphs give relevant reasons—direct financial assistance and offering affordable goods or services—and the examples involving Ali and your restaurant make the discussion more specific. This addresses the main question, but the ideas are not equally developed. The first example explains how someone can help an individual, while the second moves from low-margin business to your personal story without fully showing how this represents the most important benefit of being rich. To strengthen the response, explain why helping others matters more than other advantages of wealth, and develop each example with a clearer link to your central claim.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from financial help to affordable business is generally easy to follow, and examples are placed alongside the points they support. However, linking phrases such as “To elaborate with,” “To examplify with,” and “To conclued with” are repeated mechanically and are sometimes unclear. Some sentences also run together, particularly in the restaurant example, making the relationship between ideas harder to follow. Use a wider range of natural transitions, and divide long explanations into clear sentences. Ensure that each paragraph ends by explicitly connecting its example back to the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “resources,” “financially,” “middle class,” “profit,” and “local,” and you attempt to express ideas about both personal assistance and business. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the reader pause. Examples include “begin rich,” “upbring his child,” “low mergins,” and “help poors”; these do not express the intended meanings naturally. Spelling errors such as “completly,” “sucessfull,” and “resturant” are also noticeable. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases, such as “be wealthy,” “raise a child,” and “people in need,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If a rich person opens up a store … it would be great.” This shows some range, and the main message is usually understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “a person who have” should use a singular verb, while “I was belongs” combines incompatible verb forms. The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure, and the long restaurant example needs clearer sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and past-tense narratives, then proofread each sentence for a complete subject and verb.

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