Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued by many peoples that the previleged person can help the poor societies and people to decrease thier financial and living peoples.I agreed with this notion not only becuse this will improve the employment opportunity,crime rate decrease but also increase the business all over.This essay will explore how this essay will explore my opinion.

Firstly,the previleged peoples having the responsibility to provide the money to under previleged areas people because they can fulfill their requirements and need and their would be less chances of crime in the world.the most of poor poeoples not even got the chance to eat and dress well and also face starvation.take an example of Imran khan who donate half of his property in the charity for feeding te poor peoples in sindh.

Secondly,the help of the rich peoples in the gowth of education institutes can help in the employment because many poor peoples can get a chance make them capable of getting jobs in the well reputed companies and departments all over the world.For instance,Ronaldo contribute to build an education institute in Africa in 2014.

However, i believe that the rich peoples earned money on their own and they worked hard for it but it is their responibilty to distribute from their wealth to the needy peoples.

To sum up,we can say that the prrevileged people can change the living standard of the poor people by helping them with money and contribution by spending thier money in increasing the business with

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is broadly clear: you agree that wealthy people should use their resources to help others, and you give relevant reasons involving poverty, crime, education and employment. The examples of Imran Khan and Ronaldo also support your argument, although they need clearer explanation and more precise links to the claims. The response only partially develops the task: it does not directly examine whether helping others is the *most important* aspect of being rich, and the point that wealthy people have earned their money is introduced but not explored. The conclusion is unfinished, ending with “increasing the business with,” so the final position is not fully summarised. The response is also two words below the required minimum.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two supporting paragraphs, a contrasting point and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “However” and “To sum up” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are crowded together, and some links are unclear—for example, the connection between helping poor communities and “increase the business all over” is not explained. The introduction repeats “this essay will explore,” while the conclusion stops mid-idea, weakening the overall flow. Give each paragraph one clear main point, explain how it supports your position, and use linking phrases to show the relationship between claims rather than relying mainly on basic signposts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “employment opportunity,” “starvation,” “education institutes” and “living standard,” so the reader can identify the subject of your argument. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “rich peoples,” “poor peoples” and “help.” Frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms—such as “previleged,” “thier” and “gowth”—also make the writing less clear. Some combinations are unnatural, including “financial and living peoples” and “distribute from their wealth.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and vary key terms: for example, refer to “wealthy individuals” and “low-income communities.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise phrases will make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to use both simple statements and longer sentences, including a contrast introduced by “However” and a reason clause beginning “because.” Nevertheless, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often difficult to control. For example, “the previleged peoples having the responsibility” lacks a finite verb, while “many poor peoples can get a chance make them capable” has an unclear grammatical connection between the clauses. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “the most of poor poeoples not even got the chance.” These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the intended meaning. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a complete verb and clear punctuation.

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