Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many people think that aiding others is the most significant cause to be rich, in my opinion i fond this idea correct because helping people make them happy and ready to do the same thing for, and also give the experience and a lot of opportunity to know more things.

first, helping people is one of the best way to be rich because it make them ready to return these aid so if the helper need ani thing in buisnes it must be help anither people to make his buisnes growing for example when some one have many employee and he gave them good condition to work also helps them when they need money in consequence the employees work hard to make the buissnes growing to just return this help.

furthermore, this help action may give a lot of experience and the opportunity to make much money, with working with people and learn how to make money thats give the experience or working on Charitable organizations and knowing new people who can help to grow your money.

in conclusion, this essay agree with the idea of aiding people to be rich because the people who get helped don't forget and they return the same in addition it gives the oppotunity and the experience in deffirent Fields and get the opportunity to be rich only by learning with the organisations

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a clear position in favour of the idea, and both body paragraphs relate to helping others: the first explains how supporting employees may encourage them to work harder, while the second links charitable work with experience and useful contacts. However, the response addresses the question only partially. The prompt asks whether helping others is the most important benefit of being rich, but your discussion mainly argues that helping others can help someone become rich, which reverses the central relationship. The reasons are also brief and not fully explained. In addition, the response is 21 words below the required minimum. To strengthen the response, directly compare helping others with other benefits of wealth and develop each reason with a clear explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “first” and “furthermore,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your ideas. However, progression is limited because the paragraphs repeat the claim that helping others can bring benefits to the person giving help, rather than developing distinct aspects of the question. Some links are mechanical or unclear, particularly “so if the helper need ani thing in buisnes,” and the long sentence in the second body paragraph makes the relationship between experience, charitable work and earning money difficult to follow. The conclusion also repeats earlier points without resolving the question’s focus. Organise each paragraph around one clear reason and use shorter sentences with explicit links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “employees,” “good condition to work,” “charitable organizations,” and “experience.” These choices show an attempt to discuss workplace support and volunteering. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning less precise, such as “the most significant cause to be rich,” “return these aid,” and “grow your money.” Spelling errors, including “buisnes,” “oppotunity,” and “deffirent,” are also noticeable and can distract the reader. Aim for more accurate topic-specific expressions and check spelling carefully. For example, distinguish between the benefits of being wealthy and ways that helping others might benefit the helper; this will also make your vocabulary more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “because,” “so,” and “when,” and you use a few simple sentence patterns to communicate your main points. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “helping people make them happy” and “it make them ready”; the latter should use a verb form agreeing with “it.” Other problems include missing or incorrect articles and sentence boundaries, as in “this essay agree with the idea.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, including the lowercase “i” and the opening sentence’s run-on structure. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles and punctuation.

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