Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Introduction:

Most important thing about being rich is we can help needy persons as well as we help middle class people in different way e.g we built a foundation,hospitals,schools e.t.c. On the other hand those peoples who are financillay good fullfill their own wishes and basic needs.Moreover, they pass their life with happiness and with their own choice.

Overview:

There are three major things when we become rich.We helps people to built hospitals free of coast.Moreover,we make a foundation as a charity and help those people who can not fulfill their basic needs.The last main thing we also complete our wishes after become a wealthy person.

Paragraph:

I strongly agree with this notion because i think when ALLAH gives us alot of money then we should spend it in needy persons.On the other hand when some people become rich they become egoistic.The way when we not give poor person it effects us in different ways.Allah take back money from wealthy person.So, we should spend money in right way and also built hopsitals for poor peoples without taking money.For example,Shukat khanam hospital in Lahore check the patients withou taking any coast.Our dispensories check us free of coast.

Moreover,we make the foundation which helps those person which are not fiancially good.And those people who can not fulfill their basic needs e.g food,clothes and home for living.For instance,sir Edhi,build the founadtion many years ago.Till now Edhi center helps needy persons.They give money,food,clothes and other basic need to poor peoples.

Conclusion:

I strongly agreed with this satement and it is the most important thing about being rich because it is the way in which we help others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that wealth should be used to help others, and you support this with examples such as free hospitals and the Edhi Foundation. These examples make the response relevant and show an understanding of the topic. However, the discussion addresses the question only partially because it mainly explains ways wealthy people can help, rather than weighing whether this is the most important benefit of being rich. The introduction also mentions fulfilling personal wishes and living happily, but this alternative is not explored or compared with helping others. Develop the central claim by explaining why helping others matters more than personal comfort or choice, and extend each example with a clear link to that argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an identifiable introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, and the examples are generally grouped by topic: hospitals in one paragraph and charitable foundations in another. This gives the reader some organisation. However, progression is limited, and the separate “Overview” repeats points that appear again in the body rather than advancing the argument. Linking phrases such as “Moreover” and “On the other hand” are repeated or do not always show a clear contrast; for example, the discussion after “On the other hand” continues with the same position. Some references, including “those people” and “it,” are not fully clear. Remove the overview, organise the essay around distinct reasons, and use linking expressions only when their logical relationship is accurate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of topic-related words, including “foundation,” “charity,” “basic needs,” and “wealthy,” and the examples help communicate your meaning. However, the vocabulary is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts of the response difficult to read, such as “free of coast,” “financially good,” and “complete our wishes.” Some expressions are also repeated, particularly “help needy persons” and “basic needs.” Aim for more precise, natural phrases such as “provide free medical care,” “financially disadvantaged people,” and “meet personal aspirations.” Check spelling carefully and vary repeated terms, while keeping the language clear and appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when” and “which.” This shows an effort to express reasons and examples, but the range is limited and complex sentences are often inaccurate. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur in “We helps people” and “those people who can not fulfill,” while “when we become rich” and “after become a wealthy person” show problems with clause structure. Articles, plurals and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “built a foundation,hospitals,schools.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and use shorter, controlled sentences before adding subordinate clauses.

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