Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

in this developing and materialistic world being rich can be the biggest blessing you can have , as nowadays person's success is measured by how rich the person is , not with the happiness and how much satisifed he is in his life . As wealth can come your way anyhow by luck , by inheritance or by unicorn startup a person should be grateful for what he has compare to other.

As we put light on this topic obviously it can be one of most important thing as if a person is capable to help others thier is no bigger blessing than that and their is no greater feeling of helping a needy and being capable of it , however if being rich is benefical for a person it can also be disguise for a person at the same level , as most of the rich and wealthy people usually have security threats in which person can loose his freedom on the other hand being rich becomes a greater responsiblity as it get hards to trust people and build pure bond as people can use you for your power , status and money which is quite painful. one of the most important thing about being rich is too being disciplined with your work and being honest with your work as if you want stick to these a person can loose his status at some point.

Lastly one of the most important thing about being rich is that how you protect your relationships and how you trust other people as in most cases when a person gets rich he forgets about human relationships which are key to satisfaction and happiness , moreover being rich can make your life easy and give you lavish life it can never give a person satisfaction which a relationship can give.

i partially disagree that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others as anyone can help anyone you dont need to be rich to get that opportunity a person should have heart to help someone , i think the most important thing about being rich is which type people you surround yourself with , how you make your family happy and how disciplined a person is

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear, though qualified, response in the conclusion: you “partially disagree” because helping does not require wealth, and you identify relationships and discipline as more important. This addresses the question, but the central comparison is only partly developed. The discussion of security threats, trust and relationships shifts attention toward disadvantages of wealth rather than explaining how these compare with the opportunity to help others. Several claims, such as rich people forgetting relationships, are asserted without examples or explanation. To strengthen the response, keep the focus on what is most important about being rich and support your position with a specific example or a clearer explanation of why your alternatives matter more. The response meets the stated length requirement; 42 words copied from the task prompt were excluded from the count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, a main discussion and a concluding position, so the reader can identify its broad structure. However, progression within the body is difficult to follow: the second paragraph moves from helping others to security, trust, responsibility and discipline, while the next paragraph returns to relationships and satisfaction. This makes the argument feel like a series of related points rather than a steadily developed line of reasoning. Linking expressions such as “however,” “on the other hand” and “moreover” are used, but some connections are unclear or do not show a precise contrast. For improvement, give each paragraph one main purpose, order supporting points logically, and use clear references to connect each explanation to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “inheritance,” “security threats,” “responsibility,” “status” and “satisfaction.” These choices show an effort to discuss both the benefits and costs of wealth. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “satisifed,” “benefical,” “disguise” where you appear to mean a disadvantage, and “lavish life.” Some phrases are also repetitive, particularly “one of the most important thing” and repeated references to being rich. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations, and choose more precise expressions—for example, “a source of danger” rather than “disguise” when describing a drawback.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with subordinate clauses, such as the sentence beginning “As we put light on this topic.” This shows some range, but complex sentences are often difficult to control, and errors recur across the response. For example, “one of most important thing” lacks an article and has a singular/plural mismatch; “a person can loose his freedom” has an incorrect verb form; and “as it get hards to trust people” has agreement and sentence-construction problems. Commas are also used to join several complete ideas, creating run-on sentences. Work on accurate sentence boundaries, subject–verb agreement, articles and plural forms. Breaking long sentences into shorter units will help make your meaning clearer while you practise more complex structures.

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