Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this modern world, there is an ongoing debate about whether, some articulate that the most significiant thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others individuals. I completely agree with this statement because wealthy people have more opportunities to help the poor and improve society.

Consequently, wealthy residents can provide money to the needy people, as a reuslt poor people can survival to the family. Poor individuals have not employments, because unwealthy people do not financially stable in the life. Millionaires should provide job opportunities to poor people so they can start their own businesses and become financially independent. The rich people should that can furnish clothes and childerns fee to the needy people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position—“I completely agree”—and give relevant reasons, including financial support for people in need and creating job opportunities. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: these points are listed rather than explained, and the final idea about providing clothes and children’s fees is unclear and undeveloped. The response also contains 106 words, which is 144 words below the required minimum; this leaves too little space to develop your argument or consider what makes helping others the most important benefit of wealth. To improve, explain how each example helps people and society, and add a developed paragraph supporting your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence: an introduction gives your opinion, followed by examples of how wealthy people might help. The use of “Consequently” and “because” shows an attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow in places. For example, “as a result poor people can survival to the family” does not clearly explain the link between giving money and supporting a family, while the final sentence introduces several ideas without connecting them. The response also lacks developed paragraphing beyond the opening and one body section. Organise each main reason into a clear paragraph, and use linking phrases only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “wealthy,” “the needy,” “job opportunities,” and “financially independent,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate word choices or forms make parts of the message difficult to understand. For instance, “poor people can survival to the family” and “children’s fee” do not express the intended meanings naturally; “unwealthy people” is also an awkward choice in this context. Spelling errors such as “significiant,” “reuslt,” and “childerns” further reduce accuracy. Build a more reliable set of phrases for discussing poverty, employment, and financial assistance, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and a longer sentence with a reason, as in “I completely agree with this statement because wealthy people have more opportunities to help the poor and improve society.” This shows some ability to connect clauses. However, the range of structures is limited, and errors in sentence construction and verb forms frequently make meaning unclear. In “poor people can survival to the family,” the verb form and structure are faulty; “Poor individuals have not employments” also uses an incorrect grammatical pattern. The sentence beginning “The rich people should that can furnish” is incomplete and difficult to interpret. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check verb patterns and articles before adding more complex clauses.

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