Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There are different type of people live in a society such as rich, middle class and poor. All has their own path in their life. Some people believe that high class people should help others who need their help. I totally disagree with this opinion because my views says individuals can help themselves, they do not need others help because it end ups as burdon for them.

Firstly , being rich is not necessary that you should help others, they become rich because they did struggle in their past and did a lot of hardwork, gone through a lot of difficult circumstances not to help others but to become something and stand up on their foot so they can live a happy life so when they get that chance finally then they should start to live for themselves. Beside this, all poor people are not innocent these days, when they see rich people they show themselve poor and have nothing so they can get some money from them.

Furthermore, majority of people show thier fake personalities in front of rich people to take advantages of their kindness and get mercy . For instance , they show that they are very innocent and fool, they are not selfish , rich people get in trap and end up with regrets. Moreover, they have their own dreams , wishes to complete, so when they have that opportunity they shopuld focus on themselvelike go for trips, grab knowledge, eat whatever they like etc.

In conclusion, however, rich people have a chance to help others but they should consider themselve first because they faced a lot in past to reach there, so, they should enjoy their time and complete all thier wishlist.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that helping others is the most important benefit of being rich, and the conclusion reinforces the idea that wealthy people should prioritise their own goals. The response stays relevant, but it only partly addresses the exact claim. The prompt asks whether the opportunity to help others is the most important thing about wealth; your argument mainly says rich people are not obliged to help and that some people may exploit them. These points need clearer links to what wealth offers more broadly, and the claims about poor people are generalised rather than supported. Develop one or two reasons with specific explanation or examples, and acknowledge why helping others could be important before explaining why you consider it less important than personal freedom or security.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad progression. However, connections between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “Beside this” introduces a new claim about poor people, while the link between past hardship and the conclusion that wealthy people should live for themselves is not fully explained. The second body paragraph also combines exploitation with personal dreams and leisure, which would be clearer as separate, developed points. Use topic sentences to signal each paragraph’s main idea and make references such as “they” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “difficult circumstances,” “kindness,” “advantages,” and “opportunity,” and the reader can generally understand your position. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, which sometimes makes the argument less clear. Examples include “stand up on their foot,” “get mercy,” and “complete all their wishlist.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “thier,” “shopuld,” and “selveme,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise expressions and check spelling carefully. Replacing broad or conversational wording with phrases such as “achieve financial security” or “pursue personal goals” would help you express your ideas more naturally and precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a reason introduced by “because” and examples introduced by “For instance.” However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms can make the reader pause. For example, “There are different type of people live in a society” lacks a clear relative clause, while “All has their own path” has an agreement problem. In “they did struggle in their past and did a lot of hardwork,” the verb construction is awkward, and several sentences run together without effective punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using clauses such as “who” and “because.” Check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries during revision.

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