Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that richness gives you the opportunity to contribute to the wellbeing of others.

I completely agree with this view because wealthiness is the most important thing in todays era. If you are wealthy enough it will give you the power to buy anything in this world and live a peaceful, happy ,worthy and stress free life. Richness will also enable a person to support others as well because you will have enough money to help others.

More money means more power and more power means you can get anything you want. for example: If a person is suffering from life threatening condition requiring a transplant such as cardiac, liver or eye transplant as these are expensive things to do requiring huge amount of money. Contradictory, if you are poor or not wealthy enough you will be ignored in this society as well as will lack the basic needs of life most importantly hospice care. Other important thing about it is that you can become popular by helping the poors, easing their lives, increasing their sense of wellness and wellbeing which in turn will become the main factor of attaining duas and best wishes. It gives a person a sense of responsibility, happiness which is worth of the money spend on others. For example: if you get a chance of helping a needy family in your hometown by power of money and you don't have the necessary wealth to attend them then it gives a person a sense of stress and deprived mood.

In conclusion, money is the basic need of life and without it no one can imagine life living in thus era specially poor people. If you are a landlord and ease the hardships of others then it will give you the sense of completeness, and a happy sensation which nothing can bring in this world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you completely agree that wealth matters because it can enable people to help others. You support this with relevant examples, including paying for expensive medical treatment and assisting a needy family, and you explain the personal satisfaction that helping can bring. However, the response does not consistently focus on the task’s specific claim about the most important aspect of being rich. The discussion that wealth lets someone “buy anything” and live a “peaceful” life shifts towards personal benefits, while the claim that wealth is “the most important thing” is asserted rather than carefully justified. Develop the distinction between wealth’s other benefits and its value as a means of helping others, and explain your examples more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a developed body paragraph and a conclusion, with examples used to support the main position. Linking expressions such as “For example” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the argument. However, the body paragraph contains several different points—medical costs, social neglect, popularity, personal responsibility and stress—without clear separation or a consistent progression. Some connections are also difficult to follow, particularly the move from helping the poor to receiving “duas and best wishes.” Use separate paragraphs for distinct reasons, and make each paragraph develop one central idea. More precise referencing and transitions would make the relationships between claims clearer and less abrupt.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary relevant to wealth and social support, including “life-threatening condition,” “transplant,” “hardships” and “sense of responsibility.” These choices show an effort to express more than basic ideas. However, several inaccurate or unnatural word choices and collocations reduce precision: “richness” and “wealthiness” are less natural here than “wealth,” “the poors” is not an appropriate plural noun, and “attain duas” is unclear in this context. There is also repetition of “money,” “power” and “help.” Choose more natural expressions and vary them carefully—for example, “financial resources,” “support disadvantaged people” and “improve their quality of life.” Check word forms and spelling, including “today’s.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some longer structures, including conditional sentences such as “If you are wealthy enough…” and a relative clause describing a condition “requiring a transplant.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and punctuation occur across the response. For example, “More money means more power and more power means…” needs clearer punctuation, and “if you are poor … you will be ignored … as well as will lack” has an awkward, faulty parallel construction. The sentence beginning “Contradictory” is also not grammatically integrated with the preceding point. Practise building complex sentences with clear clause relationships, and proofread for complete sentences, consistent punctuation and accurate agreement.

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