Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is no denying the fact that money has a big influance on our lives. While it is a commonly held belief that the most important thing about being rich and wealthy is the variouty of ways to give help to others, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that being rich can offer a wide range of opportunities to help others in many ways.

To begin with, we can't deny the fact that money is a source of power and when it is managed by people who are welling to make a difference and help other people this can benifit the society in many different ways. In other words, being rich gives you the chance to be an active part in building and affecting the society not only by helping others, but also helping your self and your family. In addition, there is many ways that can wealthy people help others with and it is not necessary to help by giving only money. For example, rich people can help their society and others by building schools or hospitals or by funding environmental projects.

Another point to consider, money is not the only way to help others. It is also possible to say that helping people doesn't rely on being rich or having money, anyone can provide help to others in a vast different ways. Moreover, some people doesn't even care or wait for help from rich people. For instance, encouraging people and be there for them can be a king of help.

In conclusion, despite people having different views, i believe that having money can provide opportunities to help others in different ways, but helping people doesn't rely on money only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that wealth creates opportunities to help, while recognising that support does not have to be financial. The examples of funding environmental projects and building schools or hospitals are relevant and help explain your main point. You also address the opposing consideration that anyone can offer encouragement. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others: the claim that money is “a source of power” is broad, and the point about helping oneself and one’s family is not clearly connected to the task’s focus on helping others. Develop these points with a specific explanation of how wealth makes assistance more effective, and clarify whether you believe this is the most important benefit of being rich. (Eight words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting different considerations, and a conclusion that restates your view. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “Another point to consider” introduces a counterpoint, but the relationship between this paragraph and your main position could be signposted more precisely. The sentence beginning “In other words” also repeats the idea of wealth creating opportunities without clearly advancing it. Use referencing and transitions to show how each example supports or qualifies your argument, and avoid repeating the same claim in slightly different wording.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “funding environmental projects,” “active part,” and “encouraging people,” which helps communicate different forms of assistance. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “a commonly held belief.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “influance,” “variouty,” “welling,” and “benifit.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “a vast different ways” and “a king of help.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, but they limit precision and naturalness. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations—for example, “a wide variety of ways” and “a kind of support”—to make your vocabulary more accurate and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction (“While it is…”) and a conditional-style clause about people who are willing to make a difference. Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “there is many ways” should be “there are many ways,” and “some people doesn’t” should be “some people don’t.” In “encouraging people and be there for them,” the verb forms should be parallel: “encouraging people and being there for them.” The sentence beginning “Another point to consider” is also incomplete as written; connect it to a main clause, such as “Another point to consider is that…”. More accurate agreement and complete sentence structures would strengthen control.

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