Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It has been observed that being rich at this time is the best opportunity to helps other. Althought some people believe on it and other will not.I firmly agree with this statment . My inclination is elaborated In ensuring paragraph and relevant examples

The foremost argument to justify my stand is that for being rich is that one has the opportunity to help other For instance I totally agree with this because if we help to other people we want to become respectful person then it would be valued that we should also give respect to other for example one old person is living on my neighbors and i meet him everyday with very cheerfull mood and ask him salam and look after him with vey kind heart he also give me respect because i never abuse him

the foremost argument to justify my stand is that if allah or God blessed me with his alla blessings and i just fullfill my own desire that's not be good r satisfied me because uf my neighbors or relative are not assure to fullfill their own desire and thet thought that i wil be able to help then k definitely help to other .

thera is a more wonderfull lines is around us tha is God help those who help others

in conclusion i observed that the to help other is most important and valuable opportunity among us and we should have definitely help other and make good deed for our meaningful life

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is clear: you say, “I firmly agree,” and the response stays focused on helping others. The examples about showing kindness to an elderly neighbour and supporting relatives or neighbours who cannot meet their needs are relevant, but they are not explained enough to show how wealth specifically creates a greater opportunity to help. The second supporting point is difficult to follow, and the conclusion mostly repeats the main claim rather than drawing the reasoning together. The response also contains 241 words, so it is 9 words below the required minimum; the 10 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop the reasons more fully and add a specific example of practical help made possible by wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a recognisable overall shape, with an opening, supporting points and a conclusion, and phrases such as “For instance” signal an example. However, progression between ideas is weak: the first body paragraph shifts from wealth to earning respect through greeting a neighbour, while the next point about helping relatives is hard to interpret. Repeating “the foremost argument to justify my stand” does not clearly distinguish the points, and several sentences run together without effective punctuation. Use separate paragraphs for each reason, begin each with a clear topic sentence, and connect the example directly to the claim it supports. This would make the line of argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “opportunity,” “respectful,” “blessings” and “meaningful life,” and the reader can generally identify your central message. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, especially “help other” and “foremost argument.” Some word choices and collocations are unclear or unnatural, such as “one old person is living on my neighbors” and “fullfill their own desire”; spelling errors such as “Althought,” “statment” and “cheerfull” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise phrases that explain the kind of assistance you mean, such as donating money, supporting a family, or funding community services. Proofreading spelling and choosing natural collocations will make your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to express reasons and conditions, for example, “if allah or God blessed me … then … help,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and attempts at longer structures are often difficult to follow. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries occur frequently: “the best opportunity to helps,” “if we help to other people,” and “one old person is living on my neighbors” are examples. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with full stops missing between several ideas. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then combine them using accurate clauses such as “If I had sufficient wealth, I could support neighbours in need.” Careful editing for verb forms and sentence boundaries would improve readability.

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