Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals argue that one of the crucial factor for being wealthy is by helping other people. I partly agree with this point. Helping needy people can be a good approach but it is beneficial for specific professions such as Law and Polictics. However, consistency and hardwork are the major pillars for being wealthy in a society.

Helping other people is a good deed in a society. Most wealthy peers try to help others so that they can get good wishes from them in return which ultimately help them financially. This type of strategy is used by many laywers and politicians during the elections. For instance, Mr Nawaz Shareef is a famous Pakistani politician who allocates 20 percent of his salary to the needy people every month. He thinks that these needy people will give him blessings in return. However, this is not the only way of being rich in a society.

Hardwork and consisteny is the key of success and financial stability. Because this help individuals to overcome many challenges and can open many doors of success. For instance, many students in Pakistan prefer doing paid internships during their degrees as they think that this will boost their professional as well as acedamic carrer which ultimately make them rich also.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You state a clear, qualified position—“I partly agree”—and discuss both helping others and personal effort, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the task asks whether the opportunity to help others is the most important aspect of being rich, while your opening shifts this to whether helping others is a way to become wealthy. The examples about politicians receiving blessings and students doing internships do not fully explain why helping others matters more or less than other benefits of wealth. The argument is therefore only partially developed. The response also falls 39 words short of the required minimum, limiting the space available to explain your position and support it with relevant reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about helping others, and a paragraph about hard work. The contrast signalled by “However” helps show that you are considering another factor, and the examples are placed alongside the relevant claims. Progression is nevertheless limited: the final paragraph ends without a concluding statement that brings your partial agreement together. Some links are also mechanical or unclear, such as “Because this help individuals,” which begins a sentence fragment and does not clearly connect to the preceding claim. Develop a fuller sequence of claim, explanation, and example in each paragraph, and use a brief conclusion to restate your answer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “financial stability,” “needy people,” “paid internships,” and “professional.” These choices make the general subject understandable, and there is an attempt to use more formal language. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, including “good wishes,” “wealthy peers,” and “major pillars for being wealthy.” Spelling errors such as “Polictics,” “laywers,” “consisteny,” and “acedamic carrer” are noticeable and reduce the overall accuracy. Aim for precise phrases that express the relationship between wealth and helping others, and proofread spelling carefully; for example, “financial success” is more natural than “being rich in a society” in some contexts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “who allocates 20 percent of his salary” and a result clause beginning “so that.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur. For example, “one of the crucial factor” needs a plural noun, and “which ultimately help them financially” does not agree with its subject. “Because this help individuals…” is a dependent clause presented as a sentence, while “this will boost their professional as well as acedamic carrer which ultimately make them rich” has unclear agreement and clause structure. Practise checking each sentence for a complete main clause and matching subjects with verbs, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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