Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has been observed that some rich people are really busy and they don't get the chance to offer help because they think it is not a priority for them. Although, some people believe that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. I agree with the given statement to a large extent. My inclination is elaborated in ensuing paragraphs with relevant examples.

The foremost argument to justify my stand is that rich people have faced struggles in their life and they can understand the pain of people not being able to satisfy their basic needs because of poverty. To understand this better we can look at the example of Cristano Ronaldo who is a football player. He has donated lots of money for orphanage, poor people, and many NGOs. He has shared his views on poverty as he had also faced it, when he was a child he used to clean cars of other people to earn money and satisfy his basic needs. Due to this reason he knows the hardship of poor people and alwasy looks for the opportunity to help them.

Furthermore, the other reason to prove my point is that being rich give you the freedom to do anything you want in the world. If someone is really rich then they can buy anything they want and provide enough for the family. Because of the rich people like Bill Gates, Elon Musk and many more losts of orphanage and heath facilities are running well helping peoples who are in need of those facilities.

On the contrary, some people counter claim the mention support. The argument they do is that after earning money people become selfish and arrogant. They become busy and dont really care about others people while chasing for greater sucess. their believe in helping of poor people might disappear along with time. Moreover, they may think that they have achieve these money with struggle and hardships in their life so on what basis or reason they should give other without any kinds of benifits in return.

To conclude the discussion, it can be said that despite the fact of people being arrogant, selfish after becomming rich, my reason that the hardship and poverty that rich people have face when they had nothing are logically accepted.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the question directly and maintain a clear position, stating, “I agree with the given statement to a large extent.” Your discussion of charitable giving and the ability of wealthy people to fund services is relevant, and you acknowledge a counterargument about selfishness. However, the reasons are not equally developed: Ronaldo’s childhood and donations are explained with an example, while the point that wealth gives people “the freedom to do anything” is broad and does not clearly show why helping others is the most important aspect of being rich. The opposing view is also presented but not fully weighed against your position. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation of how it supports your answer and a more explicit final judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two supporting paragraphs, a counterargument, and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have clear purposes, and signposts such as “Furthermore,” “On the contrary,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the discussion. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “The foremost argument to justify my stand” and “the other reason to prove my point” repeat the same framing, while the transition from personal hardship to the claim that wealth allows people to buy anything is not fully explained. The conclusion repeats the hardship argument rather than bringing together both sides. Use more precise links between claims and examples, and make references such as “the mentioned support” clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “poverty,” “basic needs,” “donated,” “selfish,” and “arrogant,” which makes your main ideas understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “justify my stand” and “counter claim.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “losts of orphanage,” “helping peoples,” and “my reason … are logically accepted.” Spelling errors such as “alwasy,” “sucess,” and “benifits” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural, precise combinations—for example, “fund orphanages and healthcare facilities”—and check spelling and word forms carefully. This would make your vocabulary more controlled and appropriate to an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including subordinate clauses such as “because they think it is not a priority” and “when he was a child.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “being rich give you” needs subject–verb agreement, and “they have achieve these money” has problems with verb form and countability. In “when he was a child he used to clean cars,” punctuation is needed after the introductory clause. The final sentence, “my reason … are logically accepted,” also has an unclear grammatical structure. Review agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries, while keeping your complex sentences and checking that each clause is complete.

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