Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Certain individuals advocate that the most significant factor of being rich is that people get the opportunity to support others. I firmly disagree with the notion as there are other things such they can lead a luxurious life, can fulfill all of their wishes.

To begin, there are several benefits of being a affluent person. First of all, when you have enough money, you can purchase whatever you want. There is no need to worry about the price. For instance, you can buy designer dresses, begs, shoes, branded cars as you desire. Apart from this, elite people have the chance to enjoy a lavish life. They can afford all the modern facilities to make their lives convenient and effortless, such as they are able to afford a deluxe house which is equipped with AC, moduler kitchen, washing machine. Some rich citizens in the developed countries use robots to perform their daily activities. Moreover, they can travel around the world. When they visit different country, they learn about various cultures and traditions. As a result, it contributes to broaden their horizons.

On the other hand, there are a few rich people who are willing to help the poor or impoverished community of our socitey. They want to invest their money in a meaningful way by helping others. For instance, they gives charity to the needy poeple, provide street childern with free education. However, most of them remain engaged with their own lives,

To recapitulate, from my perspective,helping other people is not the main moto of affluent people. They have their own way to enjoy their rich lives which is explained in the aforementioned points of view.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you disagree that helping others is the most important aspect of wealth, and the conclusion restates this view. You give relevant reasons, including purchasing desired goods, enjoying modern facilities and travelling to experience other cultures. The examples make your argument understandable. However, the response develops personal consumption much more fully than the question’s central comparison. The paragraph about charitable people acknowledges the opposing view, but it ends abruptly and does not explain why helping others is less important than the benefits you have described. Develop that contrast with a clearer explanation, and support each main reason with a more specific example, to make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits of wealth, a paragraph acknowledging charitable giving, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin,” “Moreover,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main stages, and the ideas within the first body paragraph generally progress from purchases to lifestyle and travel. This coherent overall arrangement is a strength. To make progression more consistently clear, ensure each paragraph has a focused purpose and complete development. The charity paragraph ends with “However, most of them remain engaged with their own lives,” but does not explain the consequence or connect this point back to your position. Some transitions also feel formulaic; use clearer links between the claim, example and explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “affluent,” “impoverished,” “lavish,” “convenient,” and “broaden their horizons.” These choices help you discuss wealth, lifestyle and charitable support, and the meaning is generally clear. You also attempt less common expressions, although some are inaccurate or unnatural: “begs” for bags, “moduler kitchen,” “main moto,” and “meaningful way” in this context. Spelling errors such as “socitey,” “poeple,” and “childern” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than adding elaborate wording—for example, describe “modern appliances” and “make charitable donations.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would make your vocabulary more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “when you have enough money” and a relative clause in “a deluxe house which is equipped with…” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the response includes some accurate sentence patterns. However, some grammatical errors remain. For example, “there are several benefits of being a affluent person” has an article error, “when they visit different country” needs a plural noun or determiner, and “they gives charity” has subject–verb disagreement. The opening sentence also has an incomplete construction in “other things such they can lead…” Work on articles, agreement, plurals and complete clause structure, then check punctuation and spacing, especially in the conclusion.

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