Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Rich are not only those who have most wealth ,richness is also having perfect health ,healthy relationships and also inner satisfaction.Being a rich person, one should pave the ways foe other.I do agree with this opinion .

In modern society ,as relationships and harmony among individuals of society are declining .the act of creating opportunities for other will be ideal way to flourish brotherhood.For instance,consider a man facing trouble with finance ,he will develop some psychological issues as well.At this moment aid of wealthy being can assist him to overcome this issue.

As we know exploitation is raising day by day ,in such conditions it's troublesome for middle and lower class to cope with such issues.In this matter stable individuals or wealthy industry owners instead of compelling them to sell their labour,they should reward bounces to them.For instance ,there is a suger company,owners should distribute profit among workers also .so that instead of hatred they start growing respect for owners.

It is the matter of fact that wealth brings arrogance and pride with them.In most of the cases rich people starts thinking inferior to the lower class.The act of creating oppurtunity will protect them from such nasty qualities and peace and harmony will develop in society.

To conclude,being rich is blessing but having lovely heart which cares about others is superior to all.As it is old saying money should flow like water so it do not produce smell by staying at one place.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear position in favour of the view, stating, “I do agree with this opinion,” and your examples about helping someone in financial difficulty and sharing company profits are relevant. You also explain that helping others may reduce arrogance and promote social harmony. However, the discussion remains general, and several points are asserted rather than fully explained—for example, how profit-sharing would create respect or how wealth itself enables people to help. The opening also broadens “rich” to include health and relationships, which distracts from the question’s focus on financial wealth. The response is 7 words below the required minimum. Develop the central argument with clearer reasoning and a more specific example, while keeping the focus on whether helping others is the most important benefit of being rich.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph addresses a related point, such as financial assistance, workers’ conditions, or the social effects of wealth. This gives the essay some organisation. However, progression between ideas is not always clear, and links can feel mechanical: “In this matter,” “For instance,” and “To conclude” do not always show precisely how one point follows from another. The opening shifts from wealth to health and relationships, while the final proverb introduces a new image rather than drawing the argument together. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main reason, then connect examples explicitly to that reason and ensure the conclusion summarises the position already established.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “psychological issues,” “exploitation,” “middle and lower class,” and “peace and harmony.” These choices show an effort to discuss social and economic consequences rather than relying only on basic terms. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “issue,” “rich,” and “opportunity,” and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “reward bounces,” “wealthy being,” and “creating opportunities for other.” Spelling errors such as “suger” and “oppurtunity” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of expressions for financial support and workers’ welfare, and check spelling and natural word combinations. For example, “share profits with employees” is clearer than the wording about distributing profit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some attempts at longer structures, including the conditional idea “if a man [is] facing trouble with finance, he will develop…” and the sentence beginning “As we know…”. This shows an effort to vary sentence forms. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “rich people starts thinking” and the opening run-on sentence, “Rich are not only those who have most wealth, richness is also…”. Several sentences also lack a clear grammatical structure, particularly the sentence beginning “In modern society”. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check agreement and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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