Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people think money is essental for helping for the unwealthy people ,I agree with this point of view it so the significant towares the money.

On the one hand , I believe that have the rice live is better but while we stagar a lot we face diferent challinges to come acrose, however we are wealthy we have that much capacity to help other people for instance we prove poor peole with the help of money but it is essential to help them by some food and some cloths and all the useful think we can provid to the un wealthy people .

On the other hand , if some one faceing difficulty to doing married of they daughter but the ricest pople favour of giveing several think futhermore to support they family by offer help in the marriage , so by give food in the function or assien with jewelry and clothes other thik .

Overall , I believe that if you are rice however we have to offer help to the unwealthy people .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“I agree”—and the examples about providing food, clothes and support with a daughter’s marriage are relevant to helping people in need. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it does not clearly explain whether helping others is the most important benefit of being rich, rather than simply one possible benefit. The ideas are brief and sometimes difficult to interpret, and there is little explanation of how the examples support your view. The response is also 177 words, below the required 250, so the argument lacks the space needed for development. To strengthen it, explain your position directly, develop each example with reasons, and consider whether wealth has other important benefits before reaching a clear conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding sentence. This gives the reader some guidance. However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the first body paragraph shifts between wealth, challenges and different forms of assistance, while the second focuses on marriage without clearly linking that example to the central question. Some linking phrases are used mechanically or inaccurately, and the relationship between clauses is often unclear. For example, “however we are wealthy” does not clearly connect to the preceding point. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, explain the connection between sentences, and use transitions only where they express the intended relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “wealthy,” “capacity,” “support,” and “provide,” and you give concrete examples of assistance. However, the range is basic and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “essental,” “stagar,” “chall inges,” and “assien.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, including “the significant towares the money” and “the ricest pople favour of giveing.” These problems sometimes strain the reader’s understanding. Build accuracy with common topic collocations before trying more ambitious expressions—for example, “provide financial assistance” or “support a family.” Proofread spelling and check that each chosen word fits its sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence that introduces an example with “for instance.” However, control of sentence structure is weak, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “I agree with this point of view it so the significant…” joins clauses without a clear grammatical connection, while “if some one faceing difficulty to doing married” has problems with verb form and sentence construction. Articles, agreement and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “the rice live” and the long opening sentence. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clear conjunctions such as “because” and “although.” Check verb forms and sentence boundaries carefully during revision.

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