Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Wealth brings numerous advantages, and some argue that its greatest value lies in the ability to help others. While I agree that helping people is a notable aspect of being rich, I disagree that it is the most important one.

Affluent individuals have the opportunity to create a balanced environment between the people of society by giving them money directly or indirectly. They have the power to create a bigger impact than a normal person, they have different organizations through which they help the needy. The most famous are the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and the Edhi Foundation, for instance, they give charity to various departments, to schools and hospitals and thus create a positive environment among them. Secondly, rich entrepreneurs help society by creating employment, for example, they create different jobs in their companies, so poor people get to chance to enroll in and makes their life happy.

On the other hand, the primary reason people want health is to remove stress, as no worries about bills, rent and debts. For instance, the can afford best healthcare for families, quality education for children and secure them. Furthermore, many rich people prioritize family, business growth and legacy.

Helping others is a significant moral benefit of wealth, but persoal security and freedom remains the primary importance for most individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you accept that helping others is valuable but disagree that it is the greatest benefit of wealth. You address both sides with relevant points, including charitable foundations and employment, then personal security and family priorities. However, the supporting ideas are brief and sometimes unclear. For example, the claim that wealth creates “a balanced environment” is not explained, and the employment point ends with an unclear description of what workers gain. The second side also needs fuller explanation of why security and freedom matter more to wealthy people. The response is 31 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop these arguments. Extend each main point with a clear explanation or specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting the value of helping others, a contrasting paragraph about personal benefits, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the other hand” and “Furthermore” help signal the movement between ideas. However, progression within the first body paragraph is uneven: the discussion moves from charitable giving to employment without clearly linking these examples to the claim about social balance. Some references are also unclear, as in “create a positive environment among them,” where the reader cannot readily identify who “them” refers to. The conclusion repeats the central contrast but does not draw the preceding points together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the paragraph’s main claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “affluent individuals,” “charity,” “employment,” “secure,” and “legacy.” These choices allow you to discuss both social contributions and personal benefits. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or imprecise, which makes some ideas harder to understand. “Create a balanced environment between the people of society” is vague, while “people get to chance to enroll in” does not express the intended employment idea naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “persoal.” Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than broad phrases, and check spelling carefully. For example, describe how donations “support communities” and how businesses “provide job opportunities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrastive opening with “While” and a sentence beginning “For instance.” The main position remains understandable, but errors in sentence construction and agreement recur. The sentence “They have the power to create a bigger impact than a normal person, they have different organizations” joins two independent clauses with only a comma. In “poor people get to chance to enroll in and makes their life happy,” the verb forms and agreement are not controlled. The final sentence also has a subject–verb mismatch: “security and freedom remains.” Review clause boundaries, articles, and agreement, and proofread each sentence for a complete, correctly formed structure.

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