Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

From the last several years every person is in greed of earning more many for different purposes.

Every indivisual wants more many as they can. Some of them are facing many hurdles in earning money rather than spending it.

intially, every person has their own way of thinking about geting rich. They take it as priority for their future. This helps them solve 70% of their career problems they may face in future. Being financially strong can be miracle for those people who are poor and cannot afford their daily basic needs. Even the upcoming generation gets motivated by observing such activities offered by some rich people. Making their lives way more easier as they can.

however, sometimes this gets you into trouble when these kind of people use their power in wrong aspects. When they seizure your place illegally. Their is almost no chance to get your own place again. Observing rich people and trying to campare your self wold make you more demotivate, when you have a glance to their luxury life style. They always have more career oppurtunities even though if a poor person is academically strong or he is working and honestly, they actually take over you future goals without facing any hurdles.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with being rich and giving opprtunities to other people. If a person tries to avoid using this power in a negative way he can be a role model for the world. Even poor indivisually and the upcoming youngsters will get motivated. They will try to focus on changing their lives as well as others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view in the conclusion, stating that you agree with being rich and giving opportunities to others, and you recognise both the potential benefits of wealth and the harm that can come from misusing power. However, the response only partially addresses the specific claim that the main value of being rich is the opportunity to help others. Much of the discussion focuses instead on earning money, career advantages, and unfair treatment, with limited explanation of how wealthy people can help others or why this is the most important benefit. Develop a few relevant examples—such as funding education or supporting people in need—and explain how they support your position. Keep your stance consistent from the introduction through to the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an opening, two main sections and a conclusion. The contrast introduced by “however” also signals a change in direction. Nevertheless, the progression between ideas is difficult to follow: the first body section moves from personal priorities to career problems, basic needs and motivation, while the next shifts to illegal seizure of property and comparisons with luxury lifestyles. These points are not clearly connected to the central question. Some linking expressions, including “intially” and “In conclusion,” help identify stages, but links between sentences and references such as “these kind of people” are not always clear. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, then use explanation and an example to develop it before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary related to wealth and opportunity, including “financially strong,” “basic needs,” “career opportunities,” and “role model.” This gives you some relevant language for the topic. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the argument difficult to understand, such as “in greed of earning,” “seizure your place,” and “take over you future goals.” Spelling errors are also noticeable, for example “indivisual,” “oppurtunities,” and “demotivate.” These issues sometimes obscure your intended meaning. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases, check spelling carefully, and choose expressions that convey your exact point—for instance, distinguish helping others from gaining career advantages.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures, including “Even though if a poor person is academically strong or he is working and honestly…” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation can make the meaning hard to follow. Examples include “every person has their own way of thinking about geting rich,” “Being financially strong can be miracle,” and “Their is almost no chance.” The sentence beginning “They always have more career oppurtunities” also lacks a clear grammatical connection to the preceding clause. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses accurately. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and proofread punctuation and capitalization.

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