Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people think that the most vital thing of being rich people is that they have opportunity of helping others. I agree with this statement because rich people have more resources to help other people, in comparsion to poor people. Rich masses can contribute in helping poor class to fulfill their basic daily needs such as, food, cloth and medicine.

Firstly, well established people can help others in plenty of ways because they can afford this habit. They can help others by establishing old age homes and providing free of cost food to others, who are homeless in old ages and who cannot afford food. For instance, in Pakistan the 80% of rich people distribute groceries for two to three months in the month of Ramzan Kareem as a charity.

Secondly, some rich people help in improving the health conditions of poor people. For example, they launched different kind of hospitals in which treatment will be free of cost. Furthermore, this method will help poor people to treat their disease which will improve the country healthcare system. Furthermore, rich people also improve the economy of country by giving vocational cources in which training and guidlines are free of cost. Which can help people to earn for themselves in their life.

From my perspective, rich people can provide different kind of opportunities to help others owing to they have resources but the satisfaction which they get by helping others also play a key role.

In conclusion, rich masses can also eastablish schools and colleges who cannot afford eductaion and this will help them to grow in their future by working with that education in any sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that wealth matters because it gives people resources to help others. You address this through examples involving food, healthcare, vocational training, and education, and the Pakistan charity example gives the discussion some specific support. This covers the task well, but the response focuses mainly on ways rich people can help rather than fully examining whether helping others is the most important aspect of being rich. The point about personal satisfaction appears only briefly, and several examples are asserted without explaining their impact in detail. To strengthen the response, develop this comparison and explain why helping others outweighs other benefits of wealth, while extending the reasoning behind each example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, a personal viewpoint, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Furthermore” help readers follow the main points. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, particularly with repeated “Furthermore,” and the final paragraph introduces schools and colleges without clearly linking this example to the preceding discussion. The sentence beginning “Which can help people…” is also an incomplete continuation, so the relationship between the training and its outcome is less clear. Organise the body around distinct reasons, connect each example explicitly to the central claim, and make the conclusion summarise the argument rather than add a new example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “resources,” “basic daily needs,” “health conditions,” and “vocational” training. These choices help communicate the main ideas, but the range and control are uneven, and several phrases are unnatural or imprecise. For example, “rich masses” and “poor class” are not natural ways to refer to these groups; “rich people” and “people living in poverty” would be clearer. There are also spelling errors such as “comparsion,” “cources,” and “eductaion,” alongside awkward combinations such as “afford this habit.” Aim for accurate collocations and consistent, natural phrasing, and proofread spelling so that your relevant ideas are expressed more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “who,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some grammatical errors remain in sentence construction and agreement. For example, “Which can help people to earn for themselves” is a fragment, while “the satisfaction which they get … also play” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “they launched different kind of hospitals in which treatment will be free,” the tense and clause structure are not well controlled. There are also errors with articles and plural forms, as in “have opportunity” and “different kind of hospitals.” Practise checking complete sentences, agreement, and consistent verb forms, especially when combining ideas into longer sentences.

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