Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that richer people are becoming richer and the poor are poorer nowadays. Some individuals believe that rich people should help others because they have the opportunity to do so. I believe that helping people is not only an important thing for the rich, but also that poor people have to work hard to improve their conditions.

There are some reasons why I disagree with the statement: the money of rich people comes from hard work; they take risks and invest money in different projects, which is for raising their children and giving them a wonderful life. Secondly, if rich people's main job is to help others, then other people do not work for money. For example, beggars n the markets will not be interested in doing any sort of work, because the help comes from people.

Moreover, it is not good for any nation where only rich people contribute to others; other people need to work hard. If they don't, the nation will collapse. The people belonging to the different status, who have different role of the socity. For instance, the shopkeeper needs to sell things or a teacher needs to teach the students.

However, poor people need employment opportunities, which must be created by rich people. If you have money, you should spend it on different sectors, not only for the creation of job opportunities but also for expanding money. For example, different kinds of industries like garments created by rich people, which create huge job opportunities for not only mans , but also for womens.

In conclusion, I reiterate that the rich peoples only job is not help other, there responsibilitys to help natures also.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is generally clear: you challenge the idea that helping others is the most important aspect of wealth, while also arguing that wealthy people can create employment. The discussion of investment and job creation is relevant, especially the example of garment industries. However, the response does not fully explore the question’s central idea: whether the opportunity to help others is the most important thing about being rich. The point that poor people should work hard shifts attention away from that comparison, and the claim that assistance makes people unwilling to work is asserted rather than convincingly supported. Develop a clearer judgement about the value of helping others and explain how it compares with other benefits of wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, a counterpoint about employment, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Secondly,” “Moreover,” and “However” help signal changes in direction. However, progression between ideas is sometimes unclear: the discussion moves from rich people’s hard work to beggars, then to national collapse, without fully explaining the connections. Some references are also difficult to follow, such as “they” in the sentence about rich people’s main job and “other people” in the following claims. The conclusion introduces helping nature, which has not been developed earlier. Make each paragraph focus on one connected reason and use clearer links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “invest,” “employment opportunities,” “job opportunities,” and “industries.” These choices help communicate the general argument. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning less clear. Examples include “the poor are poorer,” “the money of rich people,” and “expanding money.” There are also spelling and word-form errors such as “socity,” “mans,” “womens,” and “responsibilitys.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling and plural forms carefully. Replacing repeated general words such as “help” and “people” with context-specific alternatives would also make the argument clearer and more varied.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “not only…but also.” This shows an effort to vary sentence structure, and the main ideas are usually understandable. However, errors occur across the response and sometimes make sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “The people belonging to the different status, who have different role of the socity” is not a complete, well-formed sentence, while “different kinds of industries like garments created by rich people” lacks a clear verb structure. There are also problems with articles, agreement, plurals, and possessives, as in “the rich peoples only job.” Practise building accurate complete sentences before adding subordinate clauses, and check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries.

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