Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. Because when I have a lot of money, and I can see my friend ,femaly member, any relatives in different situations facing different financial problems, then i can help easily. For example My frien accedend hi car and they have no mony to repair it quickly so i can help him maintain his car early and make it look original. And can help easly. But when i have no money , so how can i support him easly?

The main disadvantage of the rich people, which belong from medal class femily and they becom a rech person .They can leave our friends circle slowly and als ignore her previous day , what they is. Also theuy change the behavior, Hhe cankt meet his neighborsor family members. Directly change our behaviors and not respect her older or friends

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the topic by saying that wealth allows you to help friends and relatives, and your example of paying for a friend’s damaged car is relevant. You also introduce a counterpoint about rich people becoming distant from their social circle. However, the response does not clearly state how far you agree or disagree, and the ideas are only minimally developed: the example is brief, while the disadvantage is difficult to follow and is not clearly connected to your overall position. The response contains 137 words, so it is 113 words below the required minimum; this leaves too little space to develop and support your answer. State your position directly, then explain and illustrate both your main reason and any qualification.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the first part discusses helping others, and the later part introduces a disadvantage of wealth. The car-repair example also gives the first idea a simple sequence. However, the response has no clear paragraph structure, and the shift to “The main disadvantage” is not linked to a stated overall argument. Several connections are unclear, especially “Because when I have a lot of money” and “But when i have no money, so how can i support him easly?” Repeated use of “and” and “so” does not always show the relationship between ideas. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reason and counterpoint, and connect them with precise transitions and clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “financial problems,” “support,” “disadvantage,” and “behavior,” so the reader can identify the general subject of your ideas. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “femaly,” “accedend,” “mony,” and “rech.” Some word choices or phrases are unclear or unnatural, including “maintain his car early,” “make it look original,” and “leave our friends circle.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe a friend as having a car accident and say you could help pay for repairs, rather than using the unclear wording in the current example.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express cause, contrast and possibility, for example with “Because when I have a lot of money” and “But when i have no money,” and you include both simple statements and longer sentences. However, sentence structures are very limited and often incomplete or incorrectly joined. “Because when I have a lot of money” is a dependent opening without a complete main clause, while “But when I have no money, so how can i support him” combines connectors awkwardly. There are also frequent problems with verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation, as in “they have no mony to repair it” and “they change the behavior, Hhe cankt meet.” Use complete sentences with one clear main clause, and check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries.

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