Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

nowsdays, the rich people charity more than poor people. some people believe that being rich is a opportunity to help others. i agree with this idea because being rich is bleesing from god so its good opportunity to help others from the wealth that god gives.

firstly, those people who have enough money thats bleesing from god is a test to help other who deserves.According to me its good thing to help other because if you gives something to other who is derserve after giving you feel very relaxed so charity give pleasure.For example, a rich man give somw money to a poor people who not eat food for 2,3 days many people we see in daily life they have nothing to eat so if rich people give money to him for food and after poor man eating pray for you and good gives you more money that you have so i thing its good opportunity to help others.

secondly, many rich people waste their money on unwanted things that is not meaningful for them but often they dont care about that. so i thing if you are rich its good opportunity to help others. its give more pleasure and good sleep and at the end god gives you a good place in the heaven.For example, many people in the bus station and public place freely sit and see to the other people to help them and some people really help to them so its good opportunity to help other to being rich.

in conclusion, being rich is good opportunity to help that people who really need for this help. God gives a good place in heaven if rich people help to those who is neened.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you agree that wealth creates an opportunity to help others, and both body paragraphs relate to charity and helping people in need. However, the response only partly addresses the question’s focus on whether this is the most important thing about being rich. You explain that helping others brings pleasure and may be rewarded by God, but do not compare this with other possible benefits or explain why it should be considered the most important. The examples, such as giving money to someone without food, are relevant but remain general and are not developed with much explanation. To strengthen the response, address the phrase “the most important” directly and support your reasons with clearer, more specific development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “firstly” and “secondly,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify your main position and supporting points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together without clear relationships. For example, the first body paragraph moves from wealth as a test to personal relaxation, then to a hungry person and divine reward in one extended sequence. The second paragraph repeats the idea that helping brings pleasure rather than adding a distinct line of reasoning. Use shorter, clearly connected sentences, and make each paragraph develop one main reason with an explanation and a focused example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant words, including “charity,” “wealth,” “pleasure,” and “help,” so the general topic is understandable. However, vocabulary is limited and repeated, particularly the phrase “good opportunity to help others,” which appears in several forms. There are also frequent spelling and word-choice problems, such as “nowsdays,” “bleesing,” “derserve,” and “neened,” which can make the reader pause. Some expressions are not natural in context, including “the rich people charity” and “good sleep.” Build a wider range of accurate phrases for discussing wealth and social responsibility, and check spelling and collocations carefully. This will make your ideas clearer and less repetitive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the essay uses basic sequencing and conditional ideas. However, the range is limited, and attempts to connect several clauses often produce faulty sentences. For example, “those people who have enough money thats bleesing from god is a test” has unclear clause structure, while “if you gives something to other” has errors in subject–verb agreement and sentence construction. Articles, plurals, and verb forms are also frequently inaccurate, as in “a rich man give somw money to a poor people.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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