Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The purpose of our life is to live among others and develop ourselves with others. Ultimately, life is not about oneself, it's about how we're involved with other people. So, I agree with the statement.

Different people are blessed with different abilities. Nobody has the ability of solving every problem of their life, that's why we need other people in our life. Nowadays, most of the problems can be solved by money, but only a few can make huge amount of money that can change other's life. For example, in my village, there were only 2-3 families who actually had a decent amount financial ability and they helped others whenever they got the opportunity. What a started from 2-3 families, now it has become 10-15 families who have the ability to help others.Now, my village is in a much better place than before. That's why I think the opportunity of helping out others is the most impotant thing of being rich. It not only help other people but also the society we live in.

Also, there are other things like roaming around the world and visiting the wonders of the world, living a life full of luxury that can be done by being rich. It takes a lot of hard work to be a rich person and one can think those are the rewards of the hard work. Some people only work hard because there are these rewards at the end. So, they should enjoy their lives as they want. But, I think it can be done parallely with helping the society.

Being rich is a feat that cannot be achieved by everybody. And nobody can become rich without the help of others. That's why helping out others is the most important thing that can be done by being rich.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening—“I agree”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address the central claim by explaining that wealth can enable people to support others, and the village example gives the argument a relevant, concrete illustration. You also acknowledge other benefits of wealth, such as travel and luxury, before arguing that these can coexist with helping society. However, the example is not fully explained: it is unclear how the initial families’ help led to more families becoming financially able to help. The claim that money solves “most” problems is also broad and unsupported. Develop the mechanism and consider more directly why helping others is the most important benefit, rather than simply one valuable use of wealth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs present supporting points and a concession, and the conclusion restates your position. The village example also gives the main argument a clear focus. However, progression within the second paragraph becomes difficult to follow around “What a started from 2-3 families,” and the connection between those families’ assistance and the later increase in families is not made explicit. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “That’s why,” while “Also” introduces a new point without showing how it relates to the main argument. Use clearer references and transitions, and organise each paragraph around one developed point, so the reader can follow the reasoning without having to infer missing links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “financial ability,” “rewards,” and “society.” There is also some attempt to express abstract ideas about wealth and responsibility. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “a decent amount financial ability” and “What a started from” do not convey the intended meaning clearly, while “the most impotant thing of being rich” is an awkward collocation and contains a spelling error. “Roaming around the world” is also less suitable for a formal essay than a more precise phrase. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling; a smaller number of well-controlled expressions will strengthen the argument more than ambitious but unclear wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the concession beginning “Some people only work hard because…” and the contrast introduced by “but.” Most of the message remains understandable, and the opening and conclusion communicate your position clearly. Some grammatical errors nevertheless occur in sentence construction and agreement. For example, “Nobody has the ability of solving every problem of their life” has an awkward grammatical pattern, and “It not only help other people” lacks subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “What a started from 2-3 families” is also structurally unclear. Review verb agreement, possessive forms, and sentence boundaries, and proofread punctuation around full stops. More accurate control of these forms would make your reasoning easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.