Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Student answer (Band 6.5)
It is true that owning a home is important in several countries. In my perspective, there are some factors which contribute to this trend and these factors can lead into negative situations.
The trend of owning the house comes from several considerations from the culture's perspective. Firstly, one of the standard when someone can be counted as success is by the material. That type of measurement can be very important especially when it comes to marriage. For instance, in Indonesia, parents usually asked basic question by asking if the man who wants to marry the daughter already has a house or not. At the end of the day, it is the parent's way to make sure that the daughter is in a good hand and has a good future. Secondly, owning a house is the highest benchmark of investment. Due to high land prices, it becomes a competition of prestige.
However, this mindset can lead to several negative consequences. Firstly, growing competition for land ownership has driven up property prices, making housing increasingly unaffordable for low-income people. As a result, the poor may remain trapped in poverty because basic necessities, particularly housing, become financially out of reach, while wealthy individuals are better able to afford increasingly expensive properties. This is particularly concerning because having a place to live is a basic human need. If this trend continues, we can imagine a situation in the next five years where owning land or a house becomes a privilege accessible only to those with substantial financial resources. Secondly, excessive land development can have serious consequences for the environment. As more land is converted into residential areas, forests, trees, and other natural habitats are gradually being replaced by buildings and concrete structures. This reduces green spaces and can increase the risk of environmental problems such as flooding, landslides, and extreme heat. If this trend continues, the natural environment may become increasingly unable to support a healthy and sustainable living environment.
In conclusion, the desire to own a house is strongly influenced by cultural expectations and the belief that property ownership represents success and financial security. However, excessive competition for housing can make property increasingly unaffordable and contribute to environmental degradation. Therefore, although home ownership remains an important goal, it is essential to maintain a balance between individual aspirations, social equality, and environmental sustainability.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
Respons ini membahas semua bagian tugas dengan menjelaskan alasan kepemilikan rumah dianggap penting dan menyatakan dengan jelas posisi bahwa tren tersebut mengarah pada situasi negatif. Gagasan umumnya dikembangkan dan didukung dengan baik, misalnya dengan memberikan konteks budaya Indonesia terkait pernikahan serta membahas kerusakan lingkungan dan masalah keterjangkauan. Namun, terdapat sedikit kecenderungan untuk melakukan generalisasi berlebihan di paragraf-paragraf awal, tempat perspektif budaya secara luas dikaitkan dengan kesuksesan materi tanpa nuansa yang lebih mendalam. Untuk mencapai tingkat yang lebih tinggi, gagasan-gagasan tersebut akan lebih baik jika dikembangkan secara lebih ketat dan dieksplorasi secara lebih berimbang sebelum menyimpulkan bahwa situasinya sepenuhnya negatif.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
Esai ini menyajikan organisasi dan alur logis yang jelas dari awal hingga akhir. Setiap paragraf memiliki topik utama yang jelas, dimulai dengan alasan budaya terkait kepemilikan rumah, beralih ke konsekuensi negatif pada keterjangkauan dan lingkungan, lalu diakhiri dengan kesimpulan yang efektif. Perangkat kohesi digunakan dengan cukup baik, seperti 'Firstly', 'Secondly', dan 'As a result', yang menunjukkan susunan koheren secara keseluruhan. Namun, beberapa transisi yang mekanis atau sedikit berulang menghalangi alur yang sepenuhnya mulus. Penggunaan paragraf sudah memadai dan rujukan sebagian besar jelas, meskipun hubungan kohesif yang terkadang mekanis menunjukkan bahwa kohesi dapat ditangani dengan lebih luwes.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
Penulis menunjukkan kosakata yang cukup beragam untuk tugas ini dan berhasil mencoba menggunakan ungkapan leksikal yang kurang umum, seperti 'benchmark of investment', 'financial security', dan 'environmental degradation'. Variasi kosakata yang digunakan cukup untuk menyampaikan beberapa hal secara tepat, terutama saat membahas dampak ekonomi dan lingkungan. Namun, terdapat sedikit ketidakakuratan dalam pilihan kata dan kolokasi, seperti 'one of the standard when someone can be counted as success is by the material' alih-alih 'standards of success' atau 'material success', serta 'in a good hand' alih-alih 'in good hands'. Kesalahan kecil ini tidak menghambat komunikasi, tetapi mencerminkan tingkat kemampuan saat ini alih-alih penguasaan kosakata yang sepenuhnya luwes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
Esai ini menggunakan perpaduan bentuk kalimat sederhana dan kompleks, yang menunjukkan penguasaan atas klausa relatif dan struktur kondisional, seperti yang terlihat pada 'If this trend continues, we can imagine a situation...'. Terdapat beberapa kesalahan dalam tata bahasa dan tanda baca, seperti 'parents usually asked basic question' (konsistensi kala dan penghilangan artikel) serta 'lead into negative situations' (pemilihan preposisi). Meskipun kesalahan ini terus muncul, strukturnya cukup bervariasi untuk memastikan makna tetap jelas dan komunikasi jarang terhambat. Untuk berkembang lebih jauh, penulis perlu menghilangkan kesalahan kecil dalam hal kesesuaian, artikel, dan pola preposisi agar menghasilkan proporsi kalimat bebas kesalahan yang lebih besar.
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