Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Long-term accomodation, such as owning a home or renting one has become a widespread consideration in some countries. The reason why this might be the case is that because people start to worry about how their elderly life in the future could be if they stop earning money to pay the rent. Therefore, I largely believe that having a private home is essential and bring a positive impact for individuals.
One of the reasons why the society in some countries think that this is a case is because they have a concern about the life when they are getting older, particularly if they have limited financial savings after their pension. For instance, in this contemporary era, renting home is becoming more likely to be difficult where people might spend a huge amount of money on accomodation per month, whereas they know that they cannot afford it because they will not get any income every month when they are getting older.
Therefore, why I largely think this is a positive situatuion is because when people are getting older, they stop thinking about occupation and start to live independently using their own savings when they were younger. As a result, by owning a home, they can live peacefully without worrying too much about paying a rent. My parents, for example, invested their finance working abroad and eventually might build a house in the hometown. So that my parents could live without monthly burden.
In conclusion, while renting and owning a home is very controversial due to the case of people concerning about their elderly life, I think that it largely has positive situation rather than negative, where people can live in serenity without overthinking the burden of their rent.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both parts of the question: you explain that people worry about paying rent in old age, and you clearly support home ownership as positive. The example of your parents saving while working abroad helps illustrate the benefit of having a home without monthly rent. However, the explanation of why this attitude is important in some countries remains quite narrow, and the point about people living independently on savings is not fully connected to home ownership. Develop the reasoning more precisely—for example, explain how ownership provides security when income falls, or how cultural expectations and housing costs shape people’s preferences. This would make the response more fully developed and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining the concern about old age, a paragraph supporting ownership, and a conclusion. The main ideas are generally easy to follow, and examples are placed in relevant paragraphs. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, particularly through repeated use of “Therefore” and “because.” Some links are also unclear: “Therefore, why I largely think this is a positive situation” is an awkward transition, while “So that my parents could live…” is not a complete sentence. Use more varied, precise links and make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit. This would improve the flow without changing the effective basic organisation.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use enough vocabulary to communicate the central ideas, including “financial savings,” “monthly burden,” and “live peacefully.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “contemporary era” and “controversial.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “elderly life,” “renting home,” “invested their finance,” and “has positive situation.” Spelling errors such as “accomodation” and “situatuion” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations such as “life in old age,” “renting a home,” and “invested their savings.” More precise vocabulary for financial security and housing costs would help express the argument with greater flexibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “whereas,” and “when,” and the overall meaning is usually clear. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “owning a home or renting one has become” has an unclear subject relationship, and “having a private home is essential and bring” contains a subject–verb agreement error. In “people … think that this is a case,” the verb does not agree with the plural subject. There are also incomplete or awkward constructions, such as “So that my parents could live…” and “when they are getting older.” Practise checking agreement, sentence completeness, and tense consistency, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.
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