Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The provided bar chart illustrates data regarding the percentages of residents in shows the number who participated in tourists visiting island between 2010 and 2017 our a specific period
Ourall it is clearly visible that visitors staying on cruise ships was the most common activity across the majority of the regions, whereas visitors staying on the island was generally the least popular choice among local people.
To look at the specifics visitors staying on cruise ships in 2017 reached its peak with noticeable numbers, showing significant involvement in that sector. Meanwhile, visitors staying on the island followed closely behind with varying proportions. For instance, starting from a low point of 0.25 million in 2010 for cruise ship visitors, indicating a clear difference in trends compared to the rest of the visual data.followed cir behind with varying proportions. For instance
The lowest point on the entire graph is 0.25 million, which was recorded for visitors staying on cruise ships in 2012 (and also started at 0.25 million in 2010).
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately report the data provided in the graph. The introduction contains garbled text ('percentages of residents in shows the number who participated in tourists'), which misrepresents the task. Furthermore, the analysis is largely incoherent; you mention 'cruise ship visitors' and 'visitors staying on the island' as if they were two distinct categories, but the prompt only provides data for one category: total tourists. You have failed to select and report the main features, such as the overall upward trend or the specific figures for each year. The information provided is confusing and does not clearly summarize the graph, leading to a low score for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay lacks a logical flow. The paragraphs are disjointed, and the repetition of phrases like 'followed cir behind with varying proportions' suggests a lack of planning. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the abrupt transition in the third paragraph. The structure is confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of information. To improve, you should organize your response into a clear introduction, an overview of the main trends, and specific supporting details, using linking words like 'however', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and often misused. Phrases like 'our a specific period' and 'visual data.followed cir behind' are unclear and suggest a lack of control over basic English collocations. You rely on repetitive phrasing and struggle to use precise terminology to describe the data (e.g., 'noticeable numbers' is vague). To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a steady increase'. Currently, the errors in word choice and the inclusion of nonsensical phrases significantly impede communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('visitors staying on cruise ships was') and sentence fragments ('For instance, starting from a low point...'). The sentence structure is often broken, and punctuation is used incorrectly, which makes the text difficult to read. You should focus on constructing simple, error-free sentences before attempting more complex structures. Ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and a verb that agrees with it. The lack of control over basic grammar prevents the expression of ideas with clarity and precision.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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