Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

people have different opinions whether several people says that advertising is highly effective at convincing people to make purchases while other believe that advertising is so commom that we do not give attention to it both have their own prespective and merits

In my opinion i believe that advertising is effective way for convincing people to buy things because it creates awareness of a new product, influence emotions.

On the one hand, advertisement is an effective way to illustrate this it creates awareness of a nwe product and sevices. secondly people develope certain emotions regarless to advertisment due to attractive visual, sharing postivity for instance Coco cola advertisment they donot only sell their product but also give some message like sharing happiness so this encourage people to buy products Moreover celebrites advertisement also influce individual to buy certain products due to good reviews.

On the other hand people believe that advertisement is so common

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear preference for the view that advertising persuades people, and you begin to support it with product awareness, emotional appeal and celebrity endorsements. However, the response addresses the opposing view only in the unfinished sentence, “On the other hand people believe that advertisement is so common,” so that side is not explained and the discussion is only partial. The examples, such as Coca-Cola’s message about sharing happiness, are relevant but need fuller explanation of how they affect purchasing decisions. The response is also 96 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to develop both views and your opinion. To improve, explain why people ignore frequent adverts and conclude by comparing the two positions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening, a stated opinion and two contrasting sections signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand.” This gives the reader a basic sense of the intended structure. However, the second side stops almost immediately, so the argument has no complete progression or conclusion. Within the first body paragraph, several points are crowded together, and connectors such as “secondly” and “Moreover” do not create clear relationships between the ideas. The opening is also difficult to follow because several claims run together without clear sentence boundaries. Use one paragraph for each view, develop each point in a logical order, and add a concluding paragraph that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “advertising,” “awareness,” “emotions,” “celebrity” and “reviews,” and phrases such as “attractive visual” show an attempt to describe persuasive techniques. The range is nevertheless limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “advertisement” and “buy.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, including “commom,” “prespective,” “develope” and “influ ce,” which make parts of the response less clear. Some combinations are unnatural, such as “give some message” and “sharing postivity.” Build a more accurate range of collocations for discussing advertising, and check spelling and word forms carefully. For example, “convey a message” and “create a positive association” would express your ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to use both simple statements and longer sentences, including a reason introduced by “because” and an example introduced by “for instance.” However, the range is limited, and the longer constructions are often difficult to follow because clauses are joined without reliable punctuation. For example, the opening sentence combines opposing views and a comment about their merits without clear sentence boundaries. There are also recurring errors with articles, agreement and sentence structure, as in “advertising is effective way” and “this encourage people.” Capitalisation is inconsistent, including “i” and “Coco cola.” Practise writing complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and use commas and full stops to separate ideas. More accurate control of these basics would make your argument easier to understand.

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