Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

in today's globalized world, the effectiveness and success of advertisement have become a widely debated topic. Some people argue that advertising is certainly successful and often persuades people to buy the advertised product, while others maintain that the huge amount of advertising has negatively affected on individual's attention to it. This essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining my own viewpoint.

In the contemporary time, the advertisements play a crucial role in promoting any company's products or services. there are several reasons to support the former statement. The primary reason is that the modern technological advances allow promoters to analyze the market, track demand, and provide advertisement to the audience that interested in their product or service. Furthermore, every advert that each individual see is selected by neutral network through search queries, conversations, and activity in the internet. For example, when somone decided to buy a new fridge, all adverts become regarding hardware stores, online shops with domestic equipment, and fridges themselves. Therefore, thanks to technological developments, advertisement often reaches its potential customer.

On the other hand, the number of advertising creates issues, such as unwilling to buy advertised product and lost attention from people. Although adverts are everywhere, people learned to do not pay attention to them. Moreover, it creates a mistrust to an advertised company, product or service as people can think that company spend huge amount of money to the advertisement instead of development of their product. Particularly, in the cases when advertising become too intrusive.

Although both perspectives have their valid arguments, I support the first opinion, because advertising can benefit sellers and promote new startups that essential at the first steps in the market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both views and provides a clear personal position. The ideas are relevant, particularly the discussion on targeted advertising via neural networks. However, the development of the second perspective is somewhat limited; while you mention 'mistrust' and 'intrusiveness', these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The conclusion is brief but effectively summarizes your stance. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a balanced depth of analysis, as the second argument feels slightly less developed than the first.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two viewpoints. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'Therefore' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing (e.g., 'the number of advertising' is imprecise). The flow between sentences is generally smooth, but increasing the variety of cohesive devices would help the essay read more naturally and improve the overall progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'globalized world', 'contemporary time', and 'intrusive'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'negatively affected on individual's attention' (should be 'affected individuals' attention') and 'neutral network' (likely meant 'neural network'). Additionally, 'the number of advertising' is not standard usage; 'the sheer volume of advertising' would be more precise. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, you need to refine your word choices and collocations to move into the higher band range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use complex sentences, there are persistent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'every advert that each individual see' (subject-verb agreement error: 'sees'), 'people learned to do not pay attention' (incorrect structure: 'learned not to pay attention'), and 'company spend huge amount of money' (missing article: 'the company spends a huge amount'). Punctuation is generally functional, but these recurring errors in basic grammar and article usage prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article placement.

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