Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
There is an increasing debate between whether advertisement plays a crucial role in people's purchases or is it so prevalent to the point where we do not pay attention on it. Both views are true in their extent, depending on different audiences.
On the one hand, advertising is undoubtly successful at leading people buy unnecessary or essential things. In terms of the former perspective, companies sometimes create a very appealing advertisement, resulting many vulnerable customers to buy eventough they did not intend to buy at that time. One evident example would be makeup products, many young women all over the world are intrested in doing their makeup. This industry is really wise in attracting young adults who are just starting to learn basic makeup by naming their products as a perfect, all solution solving product. This leads many young girls to buy unnecessary and escessive amounts of makeup because they cannot differentiate every product. This also make many people's live more convienent by offering them new inventiens such as washing machine and vacuum cleaning through their advertisement.
On the other hand, it is believed that we came to the time where we no longer pay attention on it. It is definitely true because of excessive amount of advertisements that we see each day on a phone, television. It has become a normal aspect of life. Especially for generation millienal who are grown with advertising being everywhere. In this context, it is not wrong to say they have the immune to the urge of buying things when they see an advertisement.
In conclusion, both perspectives are true in their terms, differing from the customers. Some advertisements are intended for vulnerable groups such as people who started taking interest in one particular thing or those who do not have the knowledge about ad yet. This succeeds in persuading us to buy things. Conversely, some people especially middle aged people have the enough insight about advertising that they ignore them
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the influence of targeted marketing on vulnerable groups and the 'ad-blindness' caused by saturation. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The explanation of why young people are targeted is clear, but the argument regarding 'middle-aged people' in the conclusion is introduced too late and lacks sufficient support. To reach a higher band, ensure that all main ideas are fully explored in the body paragraphs rather than introducing new points in the conclusion. The position is consistent throughout, but the depth of analysis could be more balanced across the two perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'This industry is really wise' or 'This also make many people's live'. The flow between sentences is generally functional, but the essay would benefit from a wider variety of linking words and more sophisticated referencing to improve the overall cohesion and logical progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'vulnerable customers', 'prevalent', and 'saturation' (implied). However, there are several spelling errors ('undoubtly', 'eventough', 'intrested', 'escessive', 'convienent', 'inventiens', 'millienal') and some awkward collocations, such as 'have the immune to the urge'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not prevent the message from being understood. Improving spelling accuracy and refining word choices would significantly enhance the lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the student attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('This also make many people's live') and preposition usage ('pay attention on it' instead of 'to it'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are minor issues with sentence fragments and run-on structures. The errors are frequent enough to be noticeable, but they rarely impede communication. To improve, the student should focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and prepositional phrases, while continuing to practice more complex sentence constructions.
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