Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

few of the people said that advertisment is extremely sucessful at persuading individuals to purchase things however,some people think that advertise is common that people no longer to attract by individuals. i believe that

advertising is common and mostly not attracted by people

to commence with,people nowadays attracted by online platforms such as from instagram or shopping apps lke meesho and amazon to purchase the goods or clothes moreover,they really want to where western dressesand exploring online shopping apps which is and acessible and worth it buy

moving to the further details,people are nowadays choosey while doing shopping or buy something like goods or basic necessites additionally,individuals like to sopping in stores and exploring wide variety of things or clothes which is affordable in prize with good variety.

on the other hand, majority of the people donot want to read newspaper nowadays because there is other application for every specific things or goods nevertheless,advertise connect less people attracted or influenced by advertisement on newspaper.

in conclusion,according to my opinion most of the people prefer to pay attention on physical store and online webbsites for purchings the things despite of attracted by adevertising in newspapers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“advertising is common and mostly not attracted by people”—and include points about online shopping, physical stores, and newspapers. However, the response only minimally addresses the discussion: it does not clearly explain why advertising can successfully persuade people to buy, and the view that people ignore advertising is supported mainly by the claim that newspapers are less popular. Several ideas, such as shoppers being “choosey,” are not clearly connected to advertising. The conclusion also shifts toward where people shop rather than directly resolving both views. The response is 56 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support the arguments. Explain both sides directly and add relevant examples or reasons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an opening, separate body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “to commence with,” “moreover,” and “on the other hand” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several paragraphs move between advertising, shopping preferences, and shopping locations without explaining their links. For example, the paragraph about online platforms does not clearly show how advertisements persuade users, while the paragraph about stores introduces a different point. Some linking phrases feel mechanical, and punctuation spacing makes boundaries between ideas unclear. Organise the body around the two views in the question, use each paragraph to develop one view, and make the relationship between examples and claims explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “advertising,” “persuading,” “purchase,” “online platforms,” and “variety,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “advertise is common,” “not attracted by individuals,” and “worth it buy.” Spelling errors, including “advertisment,” “sucessful,” and “adevertising,” also reduce accuracy. Some expressions are repeated, particularly references to people, shopping, and goods, rather than using precise alternatives. Build a small set of accurate phrases for discussing advertising’s influence and consumers’ responses, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish persuasion from simply choosing where to shop.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the response includes basic sequencing structures such as “on the other hand” and “in conclusion.” However, sentence control is inconsistent, with frequent errors in verb forms, sentence construction, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “people nowadays attracted,” “people are nowadays choosey,” and “people no longer to attract,” where the verb patterns are incomplete or incorrect. Several sentences run together, as in the opening, and commas are often attached to the following word. These problems sometimes make the intended relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with accurate verb patterns and punctuation.

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