Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It often argued that advertising some product are highly influenced us to buy this thing . While some people believe that advertising is so regular that we do not pay attenton to it. This essay will discuss both perspective before explain why i believe that advertiment influenced us for buy the product

On the one hand , advertising why extremely successful to buy thing is that seller makes advertisment of their product so attractive and also usefull that can grab customer attention . After all, if thing present beautifully to buyer ,this catch their eye and try to purchased .On top of this presenter use for marketing famous or influencer for marketing that people who admire them purchased product for them . Thats why, they have their face value in the advertisment market.For example, a famous korean influncer marketing any product for minutes that product stockout .

On the other hand , however, advertising things now so common that people

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce both viewpoints and state a position: “I believe that advertiment influenced us for buy the product.” The first body paragraph also gives relevant reasons, including attractive presentation and the influence of famous people, with an example of a Korean influencer. However, the response addresses the task only partially: the second viewpoint is introduced but left unfinished (“people …”), so there is no explanation of why consumers may ignore advertising. Your own opinion is also asserted rather than developed, and the example is not explained in enough detail to support the argument. The response is 90 words below the required minimum, which contributes to the limited coverage. Develop both sides and explain your position with specific, complete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by a paragraph beginning “On the one hand” and a transition to “On the other hand.” This gives the reader some indication that two perspectives will be discussed. However, there is no clear overall progression because the second body paragraph stops after “people,” and the essay has no conclusion. Some linking is mechanical or awkward, as in “On the one hand” followed by “After all” and “On top of this,” while “On the other hand, however” uses two contrasting signals together. To improve, complete each paragraph around one main idea, use transitions selectively, and finish with a conclusion that restates your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “advertising,” “customer attention,” “marketing,” and “influencer,” and you attempt to express ideas about product appeal and celebrity endorsement. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning difficult to follow, such as “advertising some product,” “presenter use for marketing famous,” and “their face value in the advertisment market.” Spelling errors, including “attenton,” “advertiment,” and “influncer,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and precise terms—for example, “advertisements attract consumers’ attention” and “a celebrity endorses a product.” Proofread spelling and avoid repeating “product” and “marketing” when a more specific expression is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “that seller makes…” and a conditional-style idea, “if thing present beautifully to buyer.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Examples include missing or incorrect verb forms in “advertising some product are highly influenced us,” “people who admire them purchased product,” and “try to purchased.” Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries are also often uncontrolled, as in “if thing present beautifully to buyer ,this catch their eye.” Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, verb patterns after “to,” and punctuation between clauses before submitting.

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