Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, some people say that advertising is very successful at persuading buying things.but other people think advertising is a common process not a long attention . i partly agree this view in my opinion adverstising is awerness of people in future many things,they are many benefit in the country.

On the one hand,advertising has many benefit.some people buy many thing when thay are available money while the advertising are show than people strongly attractd and some people compare the price before giving buy. so that people tried and low energy show not a go to shop and city than people advertising use and things buy many things in staying at home. other than advertising shows that in the newspapers and ad than people learn newspapers many things easily available in the home.

On the other hand,advertising is a common no longer pay attention to it.some people shows that ad and advertising so compare the prices before buy thing.people not interest in things may be not available money.people prefer that shops amd cities buy many things.when people buy thing in the shops compare the price in the advertising than they know that advertising not a bad thing they people awerness in the homes not go to the shops local street in the city.

In my opinion,advertising extremely successful in many country, people are easily available product in the home not go to the shops and local street market. advertising in many country,not a longer attention people compare the price before buying things so that thing product buy more money available.advertising is successful thing.

To conclude,some people strongly attract the advertising than other compare price before buying.advertising has many advantages in the more country people easily purched many products in the homes.sometimes people go to the local street market than compare the price.advertising are usually in the newspaper in the country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to discuss both views, with separate paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and you give a personal position in “I partly agree” and the concluding paragraph. However, the discussion is only partially developed: the first view is linked to convenience and comparing prices, while the opposing view is not clearly explained. The essay often repeats that people compare prices or buy products at home rather than explaining why advertising may be ignored because it is so common. Your position also shifts: you partly agree with the second view, but later state that advertising is “extremely successful” without clarifying how these views fit together. Develop one distinct reason and example for each side, then state a consistent opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted with “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion, so the reader can identify an intended structure. However, there is no clear progression within several paragraphs: ideas about prices, shopping, newspapers and buying at home are repeatedly joined without showing how one leads to the next. Connectors such as “so that,” “other than” and “than” are often used inaccurately or mechanically, and references such as “they” and “that” do not always make clear which people or products are meant. Organise each body paragraph around one main reason, explain it, and use accurate linking phrases to show contrast or result.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “advertising,” “compare the price,” “products” and “newspapers,” and you attempt to express ideas about convenience and consumer choices. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “many things,” “people” and “advertising” recurring frequently. Several word choices or combinations make the meaning difficult to follow, such as “not a long attention,” “low energy show” and “available money.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “adverstising,” “awerness,” “attractd” and “purched,” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of phrases for the two views, and check spelling and collocations so that your intended meaning is immediately clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences using words such as “while,” “when” and “because,” but control is limited, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “some people buy many thing when thay are available money” has problems with sentence structure, agreement and the expression of possession; “advertising are show” also has incorrect verb form and agreement. Articles and plurals are often missing or inconsistent, as in “in the newspapers and ad,” while sentence boundaries and capitalization are unreliable, particularly in the opening. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas with one subordinate clause. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, plural nouns and full stops during revision.

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