Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some culture children are often encouraged to believe that they can achieve anything if they work hard. This may have both negative and positive effects on their lives.In my opinion , although it motivates children to work towrd their goals, it also create unrealistic expectations.

There are several benefits of giving this message to children.Firstly, it increase their confidenceand encourage them to believe in themselves.When children learn that hard work leads to success they do not give up easily. For example, a student wants to become a doctor so he work hard and improve efforts continously.Secondly, this message teaches children a level of patience, disciplne and responsibility. This can not help them in study but also in future.

On the other hand, this message also have some disadvantages. One major problem is that children may create unrealistic expectations.In reality, success does not only depend upon success but also on financial codition,opportunities and prsonal abilities.For example, a child may work hard to avchieve a goal but still fails. So, he feel dissapointed and less confidence.Furthermore, children may blame themselves for every failure and think they simply did not trying hard enough.

In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve anything through hardwork has both advantages and disadvantages. It can build confidence and determination but also create unrealistic expectations.Therefore, parents should teach their children thet they can achieve their goals through hardwork but failure is also a normal part of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: the message can build confidence and determination, but may also create unrealistic expectations. Relevant support includes the student who works towards becoming a doctor and the possibility of feeling disappointed after failing. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that the message develops “patience, discipline and responsibility” is not illustrated, and the example about a child failing could explain more clearly why effort alone may not be enough. The conclusion offers a sensible qualification by noting that failure is normal. The response is 10 words below the required minimum, so it does not meet the task’s length requirement; develop the examples and explanations to address this.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from confidence and persistence to unrealistic expectations is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help the reader identify each stage. This coherent structure meets the lower-band expectations and shows some features of stronger organisation. However, the linking can feel mechanical because ideas are introduced mainly through formulaic transitions, and some connections within sentences are unclear—for example, “This can not help them in study but also in future.” Improve cohesion by making the relationship between each claim and its explanation explicit, and use pronouns and linking phrases more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “confidence,” “unrealistic expectations,” “opportunities,” and “determination.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and there is some attempt to use more specific terms such as “financial condition.” However, the range is limited and several spelling, word-form, and collocation errors are noticeable: “towrd,” “continously,” “disciplne,” “prsonal,” and “hardwork.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “improve efforts” and “less confidence.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the argument, but they reduce accuracy and naturalness. Proofread spelling carefully and learn common combinations such as “make an effort,” “feel less confident,” and “achieve a goal.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “although it motivates children…” and a conditional example beginning “When children learn…”. The paragraphing and basic sentence boundaries generally make the argument understandable. However, some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “it also create” should be “it also creates,” “a student… so he work hard” needs “works,” and “children may blame themselves… they simply did not trying” should use “were not trying” or “did not try.” The construction “This can not help them in study but also in future” is also faulty. Check subject–verb agreement and use parallel structures when contrasting ideas; these corrections would make your varied sentences more controlled.

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