Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that nothing is impossible in this world. Some cultures are designed in this way who motivates their children and claim that adults can get everything through continous hard work. This essay will discuss both its pros and cons.

On the one hand, this message has profound benefits. Firstly, through this mindset, parents can push their children towards toughest tasks. Meanwhile, chidren get motivation, emotional support that are the necessary prerequisities of any task. In addition children can develop the habit of hard work themselves which would help them later in their practical life.The results of a reaserach shows that even intelligent students sometimes couldn't make things, but hard work and dilligent studenst able to achieve through thier efforts. For instance, a story of spider also tells us to keep hard work who himself got success in the ninth time. So, this concept is widely common among young children that they can achieve whatever they want through the hard work.

On the other hand, this message carries some negative impacts. Students can put unnecessary pressure and stress on themselves. In this way they feel isolated and can't share their problems with their families and friends. Moreover, sometimes this concept triggers negative emotions as well. For example, watching someone successful in their life, they blame themselves that they do not try hard. They contionously compare oneself with others and get mentally disturb in return. There is a famous quote: "tie your camel first.." , it means give your best and then leave the results on Allah swt.

In conclusion, it is suggested by some societies that hard work is the essential thing to get everything in life. It is more important than everything even luck.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and the examples about motivation, pressure, and comparing oneself with successful people are relevant. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the benefits are mostly listed, while the research claim and the spider story are not explained clearly enough to show how they support the argument. The conclusion also shifts towards saying hard work is more important than luck, rather than weighing the advantages against the disadvantages or giving a clear overall judgement about telling children they can achieve anything. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of each main point and make your final position directly answer the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the benefits paragraph moves from parental encouragement to research and then a spider story without clearly linking these examples. Some connections are also mechanical or unclear, as in “Meanwhile” and “In addition,” and the final quote interrupts the discussion rather than being integrated into it. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each paragraph develop one central idea through explanation and a clearly connected example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “emotional support,” “pressure,” “stress,” “isolated,” and “negative emotions.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “profound benefits” and “unnecessary pressure.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations are noticeable, for example “continous hard work,” “prerequisities,” “dilligent studenst,” and “mentally disturb.” Phrases such as “designed in this way” and “make things” are also imprecise in context. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning natural collocations, especially for describing achievement, effort, and emotional effects.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “that” and “which,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors occur across sentence structures and often make individual points difficult to follow. For example, “Some cultures are designed in this way who motivates their children” has an unclear relative clause and subject–verb agreement problem; “motivation, emotional support that are” also has faulty agreement. Other examples include “watching someone successful in their life, they blame themselves” and “They contionously compare oneself,” where the sentence construction or pronoun reference is not controlled. Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and matching verbs, and check agreement and pronoun consistency when editing.

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