Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many communities, children parents guide them they can achieve anything if they work hard. If anyone has make his mind to do somenting and he is doing this with his full potential then he wil be successfull and achieve his target. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both the sides of this quote and also gives advantages along with disadvantages.

As we all know parents are the first teacher of every child. Child will get a lot of knowledge from his parents. He will do the same things that his parents will taught him or his parents do in the past. Because, he think that his parents did't do anything wrong.

There are many benefits of giving children such types of messages that they can achieve anything. In this way, child confidence boost up and he will do anything. Also he believe on his parents more then before. He can share anything to his parents except winning and defeat. Because, he know that his parents encourage him and make him ready for the next time intead of discouraging him. On the other hand, there are few disadvantages of it. Firstly, most of the children do something wrong because they don't have fear of their parents. In rare cases, I saw children talk rude to their elders and they did't give them respect.

In conclusion, I suggest parents should have to look after their children and have to focus on their deeds. If they are doing something wrong then parents should have to restrict them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear general view that parental encouragement can build confidence, while children may behave badly if they feel unrestricted. However, the discussion only partly answers the specific issue of telling children they can achieve anything through effort. The benefits are mentioned, but “he will do anything” is not explained with a concrete example of how this belief could motivate persistence or achievement. The disadvantage about disrespect and lack of fear is also not clearly linked to unrealistic expectations or the limits of effort. The conclusion focuses on parents monitoring behaviour rather than weighing the message itself. Develop each side with relevant explanations and examples, and make your final position directly address whether this message is helpful overall.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to background, advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help readers identify these sections. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion shifts from confidence and parental trust to sharing “winning and defeat,” then to children being rude, without explaining the connections. The second paragraph about parents as children’s first teachers does not clearly advance the argument. Some linking is repetitive or awkward, particularly the repeated use of “Because” to begin explanations. Organise the body into focused paragraphs, each developing one main point through explanation and an example, and use clearer references to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough basic vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “confidence,” “encourage,” “discouraging,” and “disadvantages.” There are also attempts at topic-related phrasing, such as “achieve their target.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, which can make meaning less clear: “confidence boost up,” “believe on his parents,” and “share anything to his parents except winning and defeat.” Spelling errors such as “som enting,” “successfull,” “intead,” and “did't” are noticeable. Aim for more precise, natural expressions and check spelling carefully. For example, describe children as gaining confidence, trusting their parents, and discussing both successes and failures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic clauses to explain causes and contrasts, but the range of structures is limited and errors occur frequently. Examples include “children parents guide them,” “If anyone has make his mind,” and “he wil be successfull,” where sentence construction and verb forms are faulty. Agreement and tense are also inconsistent in “Child will get” and “his parents will taught him.” Several sentences begin with “Because” but do not connect smoothly to the preceding idea, and punctuation around these clauses is often inaccurate. These problems sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning. Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences using correctly formed conditionals and subordinate clauses.

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