Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Work hard to get success and to achive anythings that you want it is often says by people of some cultures and it do same some merits like child gets motiveted and will be focouse on his or her goals and dmerits too

her/she may get disapointment.

To beging with, the merits of these message. They may get motiveted . To explain it, by hearing these message they child can buld confidence and have motivation to do some thing big in theri life and will think that if he try hard he can achive any thing he want. Similarly, they will be focused for theri aims and dreams. Elaborating on it, child can be saty focused for his/her dreams and aims in life by hepl of this statement because by hearing it in their childhood it will make them mentaly strong build the courage of taking risk for success.

On the other hand, the dmerits of these stament is. Child can get disapointed by some failer.Futhermore, they will think that by working this much hard and i dont get success and get emotional and sad too because their thinking is that trying hard is enough to achive theri aims. For instance, the child who has been told that trying hard is eough for their aim he will do that and if he dose not get success he will balme him self for the failure that he has done that much but gets fail and will be disapoint.

To conclude, the merits of trying hard is child will be motivated and will focused for his dreams or aims but the demarits is they may get emotionaly and mentaly distrubed by small failers too.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: the message can motivate children, but it may also lead to disappointment after failure. The benefits are supported with relevant points about confidence, focus, courage and risk-taking, while the disadvantage is illustrated through a child blaming themselves when effort does not bring success. However, some ideas are repeated rather than fully explored, and the explanation of how children might respond to failure could be clearer. The conclusion restates the main points but does not add a more developed final insight. To strengthen the response, explain the conditions under which hard work may not be enough, such as limited opportunities or unrealistic expectations, and develop the consequences more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. The contrast between the two main points is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand” and “To conclude” help identify the stages of the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with repeated transitions such as “To explain it” and “Elaborating on it,” and several ideas within the benefits paragraph overlap. Some references are unclear, for example “these message” and “they child,” making it harder to track who or what is being discussed. Use fewer formulaic linkers and connect each supporting sentence directly to the main point, with clear references to “children” or “this belief.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “confidence,” “motivation,” “focused,” “failure” and “disappointed,” so the main ideas can generally be understood. There are also attempts to express more specific concepts, such as “taking risk for success” and “blame himself for the failure.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “aims,” “dreams,” “trying hard” and “success.” Frequent spelling errors, including “achive,” “motiveted” and “disapointed,” are noticeable and sometimes slow the reader. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “get emotional and sad” and “mental strong.” Build a more accurate range of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences using reasons and examples, including a conditional idea in “if he try hard he can achieve any thing he want.” This shows an effort to explain relationships between ideas. However, control is inconsistent: subject–verb agreement, pronouns, articles and sentence boundaries need attention. For example, “it is often says” should use a passive form correctly, while “they child can” and “he try” contain agreement or pronoun errors. Several sentences are joined or punctuated awkwardly, such as the opening sentence and “Child can get disappointed by some failure.Furthermore…”. These errors sometimes make the reader pause, although the overall meaning remains recoverable. Practise accurate basic clauses first, then build longer sentences with controlled subordinate clauses.

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