Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Motivation is the key to achieving your goals in life; it is the fuel that makes us move forward and keep trying our best. Luck can play a part as well, but still, when people receive motivation, it gives them the power to keep working.

In some cultures, people wholeheartedly believe that if they tell children they can achieve their goals through hard work, this may have some cons and pros. Trying hard enough can play an essential role in helping all of us not only children, reach our goals.

The advantages of giving children this method to follow in their lives make them have a sense of responsibility and take life seriously. Thus, they won't neglect studying for an exam and will achieve what they worked hard for. As a result, these children will grow up to be effective members of society. But giving this advice to children should be in a soft and motivational way, so they can love to try hard without being under stress.

On the other hand, this can have disadvantages; for instance, some people cannot differentiate between constructive motivation and destructive motivation; therefore, they may have a bad effect on children's self-esteem and confidence. They may achieve what they want, but at the same time their well-being will be negatively affected. Moreover, they can be aggressive at school because they believe that if they fail, they will be a loser in society.

Finally, the balance in motivating children and following a reasonable method to not pressure them, while giving them support, is what will help children achieve anything in life .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant focus on how this message affects children. The benefits are illustrated through responsibility, studying for exams and becoming effective members of society; the drawbacks include pressure, reduced self-esteem and aggressive behaviour. These examples make the response relevant, but some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the link between believing failure makes someone “a loser in society” and becoming aggressive could be clarified with a more specific explanation. The final sentence recommends balance, but the essay could state this position more clearly and develop it alongside the two sides. Explaining when effort can help and when outcomes depend on factors beyond a child’s control would make the discussion more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, one on disadvantages and a concluding recommendation. Signposts such as “On the other hand” and “Moreover” help readers follow the shift between ideas, and the examples generally appear in relevant places. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening repeats the idea of motivation and hard work before the main discussion begins, while “this method” in the second paragraph does not refer to a clearly defined method. The conclusion also compresses several ideas into one sentence, making the recommendation harder to follow. Reduce repetition, use more precise references to the message being discussed, and separate the concluding recommendation into a clear, complete statement.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “self-esteem,” “well-being,” “constructive motivation” and “effective members of society.” These choices help communicate both positive and negative effects. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “under stress,” though some expressions are imprecise or do not sound natural in context. “Giving children this method to follow” is vague, and “they may have a bad effect on children's self-esteem” uses an unclear reference. “Aggressive at school” is understandable but could be expressed more precisely. Aim for accurate collocations and avoid repeating broad terms such as “achieve” and “motivation”; more exact wording would make your ideas clearer and more flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “if,” “because” and “while.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the examples are generally easy to understand. Some grammatical and punctuation issues remain. In “Trying hard enough can play an essential role in helping all of us not only children,” the phrase “not only children” is awkwardly placed and needs clearer construction. The sentence beginning “The advantages … make them have” also has an unnatural structure; a direct form such as “encourage children to develop” would be clearer. In the final sentence, “to not pressure them” and the long sequence of ideas make the construction difficult to control. Practise building complex sentences with clear subjects and parallel structures, and check punctuation around introductory phrases.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.