Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern era , parents encourage their childeren by telling them that they can achieve anything through hard work and determination . Although this message can boost childerns confidence and motivate them to complete their goals . However , it may create unrealstic expectations and lead to disappointment . This easy will discuss benifits and limitations of trying harder to gain any thing .

On the one hand , telling children taht they can achieve any thing through laborious efforts have several positive effects . It help to encourage children and boost confidence among children to work toward their goals . when children are motivated then they acpet every challaging suitation which help them to tackle any problem easily . For example , a student who dreams of becoming a doctor . They may do study with full concentration and in future their efforts and hard work will lead to success . As a result such encouragement can help children to become ambitious and develop a strong work ethic .

On the other hand , giving this message to children also have negative effects . It may create unrealstic expectation as children might believe that hardwork is only factor of achieve ambitions in the life . However , some goals are difficult to achieve because of financial limitation or other circumstance . Children may feel dimotivate and frustration when they collapes to achieve their desired result . This may put negative effect on their self - esteem and they feel very guilty . For example , a children who want to becoming professional athete may dicourage if they not succed after years of practice . Therfore , parents should teach children to do hard work is significant but sucess is not always guaranted .

In conculsion , children may feel motivated and detrimitation by doing hardwork . but sometimes

they feel disappointed . Therefore , parents should motivate their children to work towards their goals while helping them to understand sucess is not fully depend on hard work .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear overall view: encouragement can build confidence and ambition, but success is not guaranteed by effort alone. The examples of a student aspiring to become a doctor and a child pursuing professional sport make the discussion relevant. The explanation of disadvantages is particularly clear when you mention financial limitations and the effect of failure on self-esteem. This meets the task well, while some points remain less fully developed: for instance, the benefit of accepting challenges is asserted rather than explained in detail, and the conclusion largely repeats the main points. To strengthen the response further, explain how parents can balance encouragement with realistic guidance, and extend each example to show its implications.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrastive opening of the body paragraphs—“On the one hand” and “On the other hand”—helps readers follow the discussion, and examples are placed alongside the relevant points. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear. The introduction uses both “Although” and “However” in a way that leaves the first sentence fragment-like, while the conclusion begins with “but” after a full stop and repeats earlier ideas. Some references are also imprecise, such as “they” after “a student.” Use linking expressions more selectively, ensure each sentence connects grammatically to the next, and make pronoun references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “determination,” “unrealistic expectations,” “financial limitation,” “self-esteem,” and “work ethic.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some phrases show an attempt to express more specific concepts. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “childeren,” “benifits,” “dimotivate,” and “detrimitation.” There are also unnatural combinations such as “do study with full concentration” and “negative effect on their self-esteem.” Aim to learn accurate forms and natural collocations as complete phrases, and proofread carefully. More precise wording would make the argument clearer and give you greater flexibility without relying repeatedly on “hard work” and “children.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and subordinate clauses, as in “when children are motivated then they…” and “when they collapse to achieve their desired result.” However, control is limited: errors occur frequently in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction, and they can make some sentences difficult to process. For example, “efforts have several positive effects” should be “effort has,” while “It help to encourage” needs “It helps.” The opening “Although this message can boost… However…” is not a complete, well-connected sentence, and “a children who want to becoming” combines incorrect article, number, and verb forms. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them, and check subject–verb agreement and verb patterns during revision.

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