Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

As per the statement that somebelived that childern can get what ever they want, if they want to work hard on it.In my opinion,this has some pros and corns, i am going to reflect both sides and give my conclution at the end.

Yes, childerns can achieve everyhting if they work hard to get that done, this is positive behaviour of our elders to get the kids to be motivated to work hard and pay attention so that they can at leats try to do something rather then not to do.

However, syaing that chiderns can do everyhting , does not means that they can do what ever they want.Some work needs to be done at some certain age and with specific knowlafe and skill.Keep pushing chidren to do everyhting can sometime put pressure on the chidrens brain not loose and always win.In that way, they only care about winning and doing wrong thisnf to just prove that they are writer.This kidn of behaviour will couse problem when they grow up as, they will only learn about winning and not loosing, If they didnot loose any thing they cannnot learn from ther mistakes.As said by MR.Pandit jawahar lal Nehru that " no body is perfet in this world , everyone should learn from there mistake and achieve there goals in life,this is called mistakes make the man perfect."By keeping this agenda in mind elders can also, encouarge there kids to become more successful not restrictive to win.

Overall, theses kind of belives in culture can restrict the children to grow, mentally, physically.So donot push the kids to do thing that they cannot do that some point, let them grow freely.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the benefit and the drawback of telling children they can achieve through effort: motivation is presented as a positive outcome, while pressure and an unhealthy focus on winning are identified as risks. Your concluding view—that children should be allowed to grow freely—also gives the response a relevant overall position. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The benefit is stated briefly, and the disadvantages are not always clearly tied to the message in the question; for example, the point about children doing “wrong things” to prove they are “writer” is difficult to interpret. Explain each effect with a clear cause-and-result example, and make your position on whether this message should be given more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting the positive side, a longer paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “However” and “Overall” help signal changes in direction, and the discussion generally moves from motivation to possible pressure. Cohesion is less successful within the longer body paragraph, where several points—age and skills, pressure, winning, learning from mistakes, and a quotation—are crowded together without clear links. Some references, such as “this kind of behaviour” and “this agenda,” are not fully precise. Use separate paragraphs for distinct effects and make each pronoun or linking phrase clearly refer to a specific idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “motivated,” “pressure,” “restrictive,” and “learn from their mistakes,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “childerns,” “knowleafe,” “writer,” and “thes kind of belives.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, including “positive behaviour of our elders” and “their brain not loose.” These issues fit a response with minimally adequate vocabulary but noticeable errors. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations carefully; precise wording will make your reasoning easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer sentences, including a conditional idea in “if they work hard to get that done” and a contrast introduced by “However.” This shows some effort to vary sentence forms. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries frequently affect clarity. For example, “does not means” should be “does not mean,” while “Keep pushing children … can sometime put pressure” needs a clearer subject and verb structure. The opening also joins several clauses with inadequate punctuation. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences from a clear main clause, checking punctuation and verb forms before adding extra ideas.

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