Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is common in some countries that parents advised their children to work hard to get anything in life, although it is has many benefits and disadvantages at the same time.

One of the major advantage of this is that children get the habit of doing hard work and build their confidence. When parents continously advise them then they work hard in every task which in turn they build confidence. Moreover, with the passage of time they become consistent which is beneficial in long term. For instance, if a child prepare for his exam deligently then he will get good marks expectedly. Through this achievment his confidence increase and for the next exams he will do more hard work. As a result, they will become consistent in doing hard work.

Negative effects of it can be that they feel over pressurized. When parents continously give advise they feel that they are not working enough then they start feeling more burden on themselves and putting pressure on. In addition, children start to compare themselves with others which have detrimental effects on their mental health and feel tired. Instead of doing hard work they start feeling burden as a result they become anxious.

In conclusion, although parents advise their children to get enough hard work to get anything as a result they become consistent with habit of doing hard work and build their confidence but sometimes children get the wrong meaning and put pressure on their minds which in turn have negative effects on their health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and stays focused on the message that effort can lead to success. The benefits are illustrated through confidence, persistence and exam preparation, while the drawbacks include pressure, comparison with others and anxiety. These are relevant points, but some are more fully explained than others: the exam example shows how effort may build confidence, whereas the disadvantages are listed with less explanation of how the message itself leads children to compare themselves or feel burdened. The conclusion restates both sides but does not add a clear qualification about when this message is helpful or potentially harmful. Developing that distinction and supporting each main point more fully would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. The reader can follow the progression from hard work to confidence and then to possible pressure. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For instance,” and “In addition” help signal relationships between ideas. This clear organisation is a strength, and the response also shows some flexibility in connecting examples and consequences. However, several links are repetitive or mechanical, particularly repeated use of “as a result” and “which in turn.” Some references, such as “they” in the opening of the benefits paragraph, could be made more precise. Varying transitions and making cause-and-effect links more explicit would make the flow smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, and the response attempts some topic-relevant expressions, including “detrimental effects,” “consistent,” “confidence,” and “mental health.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “hard work,” “children,” and “pressure,” and several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “get enough hard work” does not express the intended idea clearly, while “over pressurized” and “give advise” are not appropriate forms in these contexts. Spelling errors such as “continously,” “deligently,” and “achievment” also reduce accuracy. Building a wider set of natural collocations for effort, achievement and emotional strain would improve precision and fluency.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses both simple sentences and some longer structures, including conditional and cause-and-effect forms: “if a child prepare for his exam…” and “although… but sometimes…”. Meaning is generally understandable, but there are some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction. For example, “parents advised” needs a suitable present-tense form, “a child prepare” requires subject–verb agreement, and “his confidence increase” also has an agreement error. The opening phrase “although it is has” contains an unnecessary verb, while the final sentence combines “although” and “but” awkwardly. More accurate control of these patterns, alongside a wider variety of well-formed complex sentences, would make the argument clearer.

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