Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's world, children work hard to achieve their future goals which can help to develop their knowledge.This essay will intend to discuss merit and demerits in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are plethora of advantages. When children work hard they develop their knowledge and support their family. However, they can achieve any thing and their parents also appreciate their children to work hard and stand for themseleves. They can aslo help their younger sibilings to work hard and achieve success in future. They can also improve their social relationships and discuss their problems and take advice.

On the other hand, there are several disadvantages which is very harmful for children's life. When children only focus on their work they do not spend time with their families and do not discuss any kind of problem. Work hard is also effect their knowledge and academic perfomence. They can also impact their working life and their succes. They do not talk and live with their family. Children face many diffficulties in their personal and professional life.

In conclusion, work hard is very important to achieve any thing and succes in their life. Working in limit is very helpful which can help children to spend time witk their parents and close ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and the conclusion recommends balancing work with time for family. However, the response only partially answers the question because it mostly discusses working hard in general rather than examining the message that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Several points are unclear or insufficiently explained: for example, the link between hard work and “support their family” is not developed, while the disadvantages about academic performance and future success are asserted without showing how this message could cause them. The response is also 39 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support relevant ideas. Develop each side with specific consequences and examples, and make your position on the message explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To commence with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers identify the stages of the discussion. However, progression within the body paragraphs is limited, and several ideas are listed rather than connected or explained. The advantages paragraph moves from knowledge to family support, siblings, and social relationships without showing how these points relate to the central message. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the shift from focusing on work to not discussing problems. Group related points, explain their links, and use referencing and transitions to show cause and effect rather than relying mainly on paragraph-opening phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “achieve,” “work hard,” “social relationships,” and “personal and professional life,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the same words and ideas recur frequently, especially “work hard,” “achieve,” and “success,” which makes the response repetitive and limits precision. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “stand for themselves” and “work hard is also effect their knowledge.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “perfomence,” “succes,” and “diffficulties.” Build a wider set of accurate expressions for effort, expectations, outcomes, and pressure, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish realistic benefits from the possible risks of an absolute promise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer clauses, for example, “When children work hard they develop their knowledge and support their family.” This shows some effort to connect ideas, but the range remains limited and complex constructions are often inaccurate. Errors include subject–verb agreement in “there are several disadvantages which is,” an incorrect verb pattern in “Work hard is also effect,” and missing or incorrect forms in “children work hard to achieve their future goals.” Punctuation and spacing also need attention, as in “knowledge.This essay.” These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate conditional and cause-and-effect sentences, check agreement and verb forms, and proofread each sentence for punctuation before submitting.

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